Part of your broadway world podcast(S3EP17)| Valentine’s Day Special: rating best Disney couples!

[00:00:00] This podcast is brought to you by literature and lingerie, and by Stevie Wicks.

[00:00:07] Let's talk about all this love and junk. Love and junk.

[00:00:57] Junk, I mean it is junk, but you know, for me it's junk anyway. I'm single. Yeah, so oddly enough now you're the cynical one. Yeah. Yeah. That's okay. I'm also the cynical one. You get cheated on enough, yeah you become the cynical one. I mean fair enough. I've been the cynical one. I've been there. Cynicism is my default mug.

[00:01:21] But I will tell you from experience, the minute you're so cynical that you think you will never ever change, and you're cool with it, like you're not sad about it, you're like okay, this is just how things are. And that's when you meet the perfect person who's like you're not human because you're not treating me like garbage like literally everyone else has in the past. And it's a weird feeling at first because you're like, when are you going to screw up? It's coming.

[00:01:49] And it's not even like, oh, you're a bad person. You're just like everybody screws up. It's true. And then it doesn't happen. And then you see things that demonstrate that it will probably never happen because good people don't do things like that. And it's a wild, it's a wild ride. It's a wild ride. It takes time though. So yeah, Happy Valentine's Day everybody. Never. Never.

[00:02:20] Never. Valentine's Humbug. No, but that is a line. That is a line from something. I can't remember what it is from though where he's like. Where some kid is like I didn't know we were going to talk about love and junk. I wish I could remember what it was now, but I can't remember. Love and junk. I can picture it. I know the line. I know it's from something.

[00:02:48] Yeah, I know. I know. I know what you're referencing. Can't put a name to it for the life of me, but I know what you're referencing. Well, while he looks it up. Hopefully by the end of the podcast. While he looks it up, I will start this off by saying hi everybody. And welcome to this special Valentine's Day episode of the Bar Party Broadway World podcast. Today I have Jake and Justin with me. The problems. The problems. The problems.

[00:03:16] And so with it with that I say you've been warned and I'm sorry. It was my New Year's resolution to not be a problem this year. I think I already immediately failed. Yeah. Oh yeah, that ship sailed. Yeah. That ship sailed at like 12 o 2 a.m. on January 1st. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like it was it was it was it was a it was a nice dream. Yeah, it was. It was never going to happen. Anyway, what are we talking about?

[00:03:46] What are we talking about today? Love and junk. Love and junk. Oh, I remember. And no, it's not from a major motion picture. It's actually from DBZ abridged. Is it? It's it's it's actually the best movie they did the Broly movie. It's the scene where Goku and Chi Chi Goku's in a suit and they're meeting the perspective Gohan school. Oh, and Goku and Goku's like we need to get out of here so we can get the reception.

[00:04:14] I sat through that long boring ceremony about love and junk. And now I want to eat. Love and junk. Incidentally, though, that's the marriage of Yajirobe and Corrin, which is hilarious. Very funny. Very funny subplot. They added to those movies. It's so funny. You ever seen what it all sends who being diet does to a man? Or daddy. There are a couple. It's Valentine's Day related. It is. It is. They're not Disney, though, so they're not in the running.

[00:04:44] They're not Disney. Actually, what's that other one? Lee Michelle's in it. Taylor Swift's in it. Taylor Lautner's in it. Is it a show? No. It's a movie. Oh, it's called Valentine's Day. That's what it's called. Oh, OK. Like, yeah, that was that was a weird one. That was in that string of movies they were doing that were just holidays. Yeah. Like after the success of Love, actually, they're like, this works. And it doesn't. Oh, yeah. And Taylor Swift plays like a dents.

[00:05:14] A what? A complete dents. Oh, my God. I do know the movie you're talking about. OK. I totally know the movie you're talking about. And that would be bad. She plays like a stupid cheerleader. Hasn't she done that in a couple music videos? Cheerleader, not stupid. I was going to say, they're not mutually exclusive. Shake it off she was a cheerleader in. That's what I'm thinking of. And then she talks trash about cheerleaders and other ones. So. Two face Taylor.

[00:05:42] I only like Taylor Swift music when it's not sung by Taylor Swift. Yeah. Come again? What? So I like I like her songs when they're sung by other people. Oh, when people cover them. Yeah. It's like, like what? Like Kidz Bop? Well, like my favorite version of Mean is from Glee. Yeah. I like that very well. Oh, OK. I was like, what?

[00:06:12] Glee's real. Glee's a frustrating show for me. Yes, it is. I love it. It is. But they, as good as Glee is, it could have been much better if they, pardon the expression, if Ryan Murphy had stopped tripping over his own dick. But he does. He does it so well. That's true. That's true. He does it in everything he does. Like I'm a big fan.

[00:06:36] I'm a huge fan of season one of Scream Queens and season two is hot garbage. I mean. I wasn't a fan of season two either. No, it was bad. Season one's hilarious. I love season one. Ariana Grande's death was like superb. See, that's, that's the thing. And I feel glad Glenn, Glenn, he was in Twisters. Who's the Glenn? It's not Glenn Paxton. Glenn Powell. I knew it was a P name. Like he's in season one. That was the first time I saw him was season run of Scream Queens.

[00:07:05] And I'm like instantly a fan because this dude is hilarious. Chad Radwell is, oh my gosh. He is fucking hilarious. He's so fucking funny. I'm asking. I, yeah, Glee, Glee remains the one show I've ever raged put and never finished. Wasn't Nick Donovan. Jonathan won in one of the episodes. I'm not sure at some point, I think. Glee. I don't know about Glee. No, of Scream Queens.

[00:07:35] Oh, Scream Queens. Yes. Yes. Yes. I believe it was. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now Glee for me is so frustrating because the first three seasons are gold. There's very few things I complain about. I actually had an okay. So I'm going to go on my Glee rant. Sorry, not sorry, because I, I believe I make a good point. So when Glee reached season three and the initial cast was set to graduate, the show had a choice to make.

[00:08:02] And they could have gone what I've dubbed the Degrassi route, which is the school is the center point. And not that you can't go outside of the school in stories, but the school is the main focus. Yeah. Or you choose to follow the people. And ostensibly you go away from the school and you, you follow Rachel and Kurt, you follow the main cast. And then it becomes like a, they tried to do both. And it was horrible because they couldn't devote enough time to the new characters for

[00:08:32] us to actually give a shit. And yeah, frankly, the, the absurdity of what was happening in New York city, like these kids are from Ohio. None of them are rich. No, it got, it got my, I maintain the first 13 episodes of Glee are some of the tightest satire I've ever seen. Like, especially at the time that we're going to, we're going to tie this back to Disney. Uh, high school musical was massive at the time and it is a masterful parody of high school musical. Like what they set out to do.

[00:09:02] Yeah. That was their initial down to like, uh, Kurt is clearly supposed to be parodying Ryan. Like Finn is, is the Zac Efron character. Rachel is clearly supposed to be like, they're all, they're all parodies of characters from high school musical. And that's gotten so lost over the years. I still maintain what they should have done. I think they should have followed the school. And what's cool is they could have gone. This is why I call it the Degrassi route because Degrassi has been running for so long

[00:09:29] in various series and I technically their spinoffs, but I don't consider them spinoffs. I consider them a continuation because it's at the, it's at the same school. Right. But you're, you're Canadian, you know more about Degrassi than I do. Probably. I mean, it's here, but it's not familiar with it. I've never watched it. I'm not a, I'm not a big. Melodrama kind of guy. I can, I can tolerate it to a point. And I was, I was way more into it when I was younger. Now it's like, I just, I just can't. Yeah. But Degrassi is an institution.

[00:09:59] Like Drake was on it. Well, I'm given to understand that characters from like the original series came back as adult roles in. The Glee series, right. As an adult has been on that show. Yes. Yes. I'm aware of that. But my whole thing is, and they eventually tried to circle back to it, like having Finn come back to co-coach the Glee club and all that. Yeah.

[00:10:22] But that was an unintentional joke, but, but my, my point. So I had an idea though, cause the only other criticism I have of Glee is the fact that a show that claims to celebrate music had very little diversity when it came to music. I mean, that's kind of a, wasn't that kind of a bit on that show though? They, well, that's the other thing Ryan Murphy does is when he gets tired of a show, he just makes fun of it in the writing. And so. On the show. Yeah.

[00:10:52] Yeah. But not in a way that's kind of like tongue in cheek, wink, wink. Like it's just blatant. Like, like, like they make fun of the fact that a subplot completely got unresolved and they pretend like it's not there, but they know it was there. Like they acknowledge it on screen. It's, it's a weird thing. But my idea was in one of the seasons you introduce at least two new characters. And I wanted somebody that was a fan of country and somebody that was like a legit metalhead. And you could have explored different genres of music.

[00:11:22] And I'm not saying you have to go nuts. Like you don't have to actually slipknot would have been really cool. So that's probably a bad example, but like the, the, the metalhead could have brought in like mainstream alter. I know this sounds stupid on its face. It's an oxymoron, but he could have brought in mainstream alternative rock, for example. Like, I think the most extreme thing they did was kiss. Like. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Hey, like we could have got some metallic in there. I would consider the mainstream when it comes to metal. I would have, I would have taken Metallica, but see, the thing is around one of those years

[00:11:52] disturbed released their cover of sound of silence. Yeah. That's a good. And that they could have done that though. They could have done that where the whole sort of like running storyline could have been like people not respecting him because well metal is just noise. And especially because Will Schuster is great at putting his foot in his mouth. And this kid could have busted out, you know, a rendition of that cover.

[00:12:16] And then everybody could have been like, Oh, this is music because everybody seems to have the same reaction to that cover when they see it. Like vocal coaches watching. And they're like, this is amazing. And I'm like, yeah, it's been amazing since 2000. I just don't know where you people have been. Right. I, that, that album is genuinely very good. Disney would be in the problem, Jake. Well, no, I'm circling, I'm circling back in. And then the country did that could have been a lot of fun. That could have been a lot of fun.

[00:12:45] Cause I mean, country's big. I, I don't always get it, but country is a thing that exists. See, I like country music. So like, I don't hate it. I just, I'm not, I'm not in the whole, I'm not in the real honky tonk shit, but you know, Nah, man, the honky tonkier the better. The tonkier the better. I mean, that is kind of the point to be fair.

[00:13:08] To be fair though, my family is, uh, they're from, um, the Canadian equivalent to the deep south, uh, up in, up in Ontario. So like, I got a real hillbilly background. So like that might have something to do with it. Yeah. That's really interesting though. Cause people who don't know Northern Ontario, Northern Canada, the further north you go, it does seem that it becomes more like the Southern United States. It really. Yeah. Like this weird middle ground. That's like super metropolitan between the two countries. And then it just spreads out.

[00:13:38] Like swamp people. It's very, yeah. Yeah. My, my, my great uncle would sit around with a shirt on and play like, yeah, it was, yeah, it was really funny from real, real hilly stock. Anyway. Yeah. So what are we, we're, we're, we're, what are, what are we doing here? Haley? We're becoming the problem. We've been the problem. I've been the problem. I'll stop. You've been the problem. Since we all met. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair.

[00:14:09] Sad thing is that I wouldn't have any other way. That's why you keep inviting us. See, at some point it's your fault. It's true. Like first time. I'll give you that. That's a pass. You know what we're about. You know what we're doing. You're lucky. I love you both. It's the, it's the Valentine's Day episode. We're in the Valentine's Day spirit. It's nothing but love and junk. And I'm the junk.

[00:14:39] Mental junk. Get your hat out of the gutter people. Come on now. We're talking about Disney couples. This is a PG rated episode. Don't tell me that. Tell him that. Hey, at least I said junk. And junk. Oh my God. So yes, Disney couples. So is this like. Disney couples. So these are. I'm assuming that we're talking about. The good. Like we're talking about discussing debating and or rating like the good Disney couples.

[00:15:09] Obviously not the bad ones. Yes. What's the bad? Oh, there are some horrendously bad Disney couples. Oh my God. There's so many bad ones. I mean. I mean, name one. Well, Anna and Hans for one. I'll. To be fair. They're brief, but. I was gonna say. Can. Can you even qualify the. Them as a couple. At one point they are technically engaged. That is true. That is. Technically.

[00:15:38] I was Googling. I was Googling a list for this episode and Elsa's on there, but, but like for, for, for Elsa, it says NA. See, for Elsa, she's going to turn out to be a big old lesbian because they've just been being beaten around the bush on that one. See, I disagree. I think. I said that and then I didn't mean it. That's an unfortunate turn of phrase. Um, no, I think Elsa is going to turn out to be a sexual. Actually. You think. She.

[00:16:09] She has many, many more. Again, I'm no psychologist, but from what I can tell from what I can see and infer, she has many more traits of an asexual person rather than someone who was gay or bisexual. She was supposed to have one in the second one and they cut it. See, they say that and I don't buy it because her character just doesn't behave that way. She's never shown any attraction to anyone, much less a man or a woman. I mean, hey, at least she didn't fall in love with the first man she met.

[00:16:40] I mean, fair enough. Fair enough. Maybe she and Olaf have that agreement where like once they're both 40 and if they're not married, they just look at each other. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we live together. We live together anyway. I mean, you need me to live. So. Right. Right. It's kind of a thing. That'd be weird because he's a snowman. I don't think. He's a magic snowman. He's a magic snowman. I don't think. He gets warm hugs. I'm going to get really weird if I ask this question.

[00:17:10] He gets warm hugs. Nevermind. Justin. No. Head out of gutter. No. I know. It's a line from the movie. Justin. I didn't imply anything. You inferred it. I didn't imply it. I'm saying they're going to get mad. I'm just saying, I'm just wondering if they have that agreement. Like, and I don't know, it's 2025. Maybe 45 is the new 40. I don't know. I mean, Anna, Anna fell in love with the second man she met. I was going to apply something else, but I didn't want to. Yeah. Let's not.

[00:17:40] Let's not. Let's not talk about the carrot in the room. The carrot in the room. I mean, Jordan, Jordan went when I mentioned I was doing Disney couples. His first thing was Aladdin and Jasmine are clearly the most superior, but then he followed all relationships that start off with a lie. They don't. They don't really tend to work out that great. Aladdin and Jasmine become a good. And actually it's funny because cinema. Are you guys familiar with cinema therapy on YouTube? I was gonna say they've done this. Yes. Yes. They've done this before.

[00:18:09] First of all, love most of what you guys do. Some of it I kind of disagree with, but you're a therapist and a filmmaker. So everybody gets to have a perspective, but overall love, love what they do. It's very entertaining. Actually, there's utopia episode is extremely insightful and made me rethink some things. So, well, I mean, that is an incredibly insightful movie. It really is, you know, and it's very easy to take it at surface level, but they're not a couple. So we're not talking about them.

[00:18:38] I mean, they're kind of couple. God, they're they're they're partners. They're not. And depending on which part of the internet you exist. The least partners theoretically a couple. Oh, OK. Well, if we're doing fan fiction, everybody's up for grabs. I mean, one of my top ten is like is Princess Tiana and Naveen. There's great chemistry, great story arc. I don't disagree with that. Because I know it's good.

[00:19:09] They have to work for it, which I appreciate. Well, here's the only reason I I don't disagree. But the only thought I want to bring up is technically Naveen is the only one who really changes. Tiana basically stays the same. She just kind of gets over herself a little bit. Not a little bit. She still does have an award winning restaurant, though. That is true that she would have had 24 hours to open. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. So they're a good couple. Eventually, and it's good.

[00:19:38] And Naveen changes. It's a it's a it's a good lesson to learn. Yeah, that's very much like I said, the same with the land and Jasmine were Aladdin. And here's the thing about Aladdin. I don't like to give Aladdin a lot of grief because even in the fantasy world that they create, they're still aligned that he has every reason to believe he cannot cross. Particularly with Jasmine like, oh, I know. Give me like a cut. You mean like a cultural line?

[00:20:05] Yeah, a cultural line. So yeah, so it makes it makes sense for any normal person to lie at least initially. Now where he falls short is when it becomes pretty obvious that Jasmine's on to him and he doesn't complain even after that. Yeah, that's that's kind of where I and I think she would have forgiven him at that point because of that cultural line, too. Oh, that's sort of what I like. Oh, this might be a blasphemous thing to say on this podcast.

[00:20:32] I kind of like the live action remake because they they take a bit more time. It's not just like they meet bad immediate in love is a bit more development into that relationship. And I like that. That wasn't so immediate. There was a bit more delay to it. That will be the only nice thing I say about that movie. I'm gonna argue with the relationship. I think you got there that those movies I maintain are good when they're different.

[00:21:02] They're bad when they're not. That's that's that's it. That's it. Well, well, too bad. They all suck except apparently Cinderella. I hear good things about Cinderella. I thought Cinderella was really. I thought that movie was really funny. There's a I I want I don't know if it's James Corden. It might not be James Corden. But there's yeah, there's a line in that movie that where the goo or the goose gets turned into a driver and she says delivery. It just made me laugh. I thought it was really funny. Oh, are you talking about the other cinema?

[00:21:30] Because there's like a couple Cinderella's there's the one with Camille Cabello that that they just did like couple years ago on that's the one. Yeah, no, no, not Apple. This is the Disney one. Disney like the official Disney live action remake because I know Randy did one years years ago. I also heard was good. That one was I'm not seeing it, but yeah, that that one's legit that I thought there was jokes in the Disney one that made me laugh of the Disney remakes.

[00:22:00] It I thought it was the least bad. That's not a high bar. No, it's not a high bar. My see the Disney the Disney princess couples all of my favorite version of those couplings are all from once upon a time. So like the the the Prince Charming and the Snow White. They're my favorite version of Prince Charming and Snow White. So it's still technically Disney, but a bunch of they're a good couple. The only thing I don't like about them is both of them. And I'm sure this is direction.

[00:22:25] This has nothing to do with the actors because they're they're marvelous people, but their characters have a tendency to do this weird like stare into the camera. They're just slightly off. That's that's 90% of that show. That is the more disproportionately evil characters, the bigger the cleavage they have. It's like the two things about that show.

[00:22:58] Hello. Hello. Welcome to welcome to welcome to wholesome Monday poetry Thursday. Wholesome Monday poetry Thursday. Welcome to literature. Sorry. Wow. Say that three times five, three times five, three times. Fuck. My YouTube channel to accompany my Patreon. That sounds like I made my Patreon and then made my YouTube channel. Nix that.

[00:23:28] Okay, I'm gonna start over. Welcome to literature and lingerie where we will mostly on YouTube be getting up to a lot of literature. Hit that subscribe button and I think they, I think they say you should, you should hit the bell, right? So that you're notified. No, I, I probably should have vetted that. I mean, it was 1888. So, what do I expect? What the heck?

[00:23:59] This strap. No, yeah. All of my favorite versions of the Disney couples are on Once Upon a Time. I love that show. I mean, that show is a well written show for the most part. It takes detours, but like, look at Emma. Yeah. Yeah. Solid couple. There. Yeah, that is a, I think it counts. It's Disney. It's produced by Disney. It is Disney. Yeah.

[00:24:25] It's not even technically Disney because it's a show produced by ABC using Disney characters. So my, my favorite version of Cruella DeVille is on that show. I love her, her, her, that version of that character because they do, they, they do the whole thing where they make you think she's like every other character on that show and that she has this tragic backstory and that she's a nuanced character. And, and then they completely rug pull you and they subvert you and like, nah, she's just a bling psychopath. And I like, just beautiful writing. Loved it so much.

[00:24:54] Well, yeah, quite enjoying that show. I'm just going to go ahead and share my pig who I believe might actually be the best, certainly what represents a good couple. Okay. Any, any Disney film or franchise. Hacha and Chicha from The Emperor's New Groove. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's a good one. She just immediately supports, doesn't even ask questions. And, and, but it, okay. And here's the thing.

[00:25:23] So I've heard, I've heard actually not many people say this because frankly, I don't know how you could come to the opinion that she does so without intelligence. He does so because she trusts Hacha. Exactly. Yeah. And she knows. Good communication. He knows that there's a, there's a reason why he can't lay it out. It's obvious. So she goes along with it. And not only that, she doesn't blindly follow, but they're both, they're both in a very similar headspace as it's like their relationship is such that they trust each other's judgment.

[00:25:53] And so it's, it could seem to a more jaded person that they just go along with each other. They go along with each other because there's a track record that granted we don't see, but there's a track record of their relationship that says, I trust this person. And details will come later. But for right now, this is what needs to happen. So I know it's way to go. I love those characters. I love that movie. Here's a question for you too. Cause Jordan always rejects these out of hand on our show.

[00:26:23] Um, he hates them conceptually, but I would, I would totally watch a live action remake of the Emperor's new groove. So my reaction to that would be CGI. I think it could totally work here. Okay. Here's, here's my only thing. And this is kind of my argument against all the live action remakes is the original. So good. Why bother?

[00:26:46] Because that's George, because you are not, you are not going to compete with John Goodman, David Spade, um, Wendy Malick. I, and I forget that doc. What's his name again? Well, that's Eastman, right? Yeah. Patrick. Patrick. You're not going to be with that guy. You know, uh, not going to do it. Unless you get him to play live action cronk. In which case it's already been done. So why are we doing it again?

[00:27:16] I mean, that's what we asked about the how to train your dragon remake, where you literally just have Gerard Butler playing the same character. I'm like, what's the point? I don't, I don't, but the, oh, the one, the one movie that Jordan's always like, he's down for is treasure planet, but that's just because he wants more treasure planet. Which I think is fair. That movie is good. Yeah. I actually haven't seen treasure planet. I need to. It's a good movie. Solid movie. What about, okay. Here's a, here's a Disney couple. Shang and Mulan.

[00:27:47] I don't consider them a couple. Well, okay. Okay. Have you seen Mulan two though? Okay. To be fair. No. Okay. That's a valid point. Cause my, my argument was going to be that they're only technically a couple at the end of Mulan. And technically they haven't, they technically he just comes to dinner. They haven't actually established, but Mulan two. Yes. I forgot about Mulan two, which I have not seen. So. Mulan two. Yeah. They're, they're very much a couple that the entire conference, one of those movies

[00:28:14] that the entire conflict of this movie could be resolved if they had a five minute conversation, which they do. And then the minute they do have a five minute conversation, the conflict of the movies immediately immediately resolved, which like, I appreciate it. I was like, once they actually sat down and like talked it out, like mature adults, no more problems. And the, the reason that works in Mulan cause something that is something I would normally pick apart narratively is that all they had to do was sit on top for five minutes. There's a cultural, there's a cultural reason why they can't just sit down and have that

[00:28:42] conversation that's established in the movie. Oh, well yeah. In the case of Mulan. Oh, very much so. Yeah. And that's why it's good because the conflict arises from that to a point. There's a, there's a tad too much. Like they would just, she, she's a woman, but that, that, that permeates that, that, that second movie. Um, that, uh, yeah. Also it's just the moment where, where, where Sean realizes, Sean realizes he's not gay will always be funny.

[00:29:12] Oh, she's a woman. Oh, thank God. Woo. Ultimately, this would have been really unfortunate. Woo. Woo. Yeah. It's like all of a sudden my feelings make perfect sense. Right. Oh God. Oh, okay. Oh, we had to confront some feelings there for a while. Oh no. Oh. He's like, oh, I can't. In ancient China. I'm just going to go home and drink a beer. Right. Drink a beer. Cook out, cook outdoors and.

[00:29:42] Jordan Jordan would be, would be upset if I didn't bring up Stockholm Syndrome and Beauty and the Beast. It's an easy layup of a joke, but what can I say? I mean, yeah, you're, you're not wrong, especially initially, but initially she doesn't like him. So I don't really equate that to Stockholm Syndrome, but it is not actually, it's not actually, it's not actually Stockholm Syndrome, but there's a popular YouTuber. I, I watch who is one of my favorites, Lindsay Ellis.

[00:30:10] She has a very good, very long video, very good video about how she cringes anytime anyone ever says that Stockholm Syndrome, because it's not. It's too simplistic. And she does a much better job explaining it than I do. Yeah. It's, it's because it's too simplistic because the, the unfortunate, you know, it's not unfortunate. Let me word this properly. I mean, here's the thing about Beauty and the Beast is the beast is actually a good guy. Yeah. It's a good guy. It's a good guy.

[00:30:45] It's a good guy. Hey, the United States had a war about that. Um, still shouldn't do it. Not a good thing under any circumstances. Except there's going to be somebody coming as well, what if they want it?

[00:31:14] Then it's consensual and it's no longer kidnapping. Right. Then it's, then it's make pretend. It's make pretend. Uh, and this movie is animated, so it's okay. No crimes are committed in the production of this film. Some wolves got their shit rocked, but they were animated wolves. So it's okay. It all made it all. Okay. They, they, they animated deserved it. No, actually cinema therapy does a great bit with that.

[00:31:42] Cause they, they're criticizing it. Right. And they're, they never, ever like take it too serious. Cause they're like, at the end of the day, it's a cartoon movie that was made in 1989 or no 1990. I'm sorry. I'm just got that date wrong. Haley was about to hit me with something. Was it 1990 or was it 1991? Uh, 91. It came out in 91. So what had been being made in 1990? I mean, animation takes a while. Fair enough. That's the valid point.

[00:32:10] But then, but then at one point somebody was, somebody was like, you know, but he saved her from the wolves. And they were like, okay, yeah, you should do that. But the only reason he saved her from the wolves in the first place was because he was holding her against her will and she escaped. Right. So, right. You know, like, yeah, the morally correcting to do, but, but also maybe like, don't make out with the girl who can't talk. Oh, Snow White.

[00:32:39] I always think an aerial, but that also works. Yeah. Don't, don't make out with unconscious chicks. I mean, in the original story, it's worse, but like, yeah, in the original story, it's, in the original story, it's way worse. It's, it's worse. It's bad. I also digress because how are they going to do it in the live action when like, she's not going to be saved by, like, it's a story. Oh, the, the, the, the live action movie? Yeah. That trailer was very confusing to me.

[00:33:09] It's all, it was just like, wait, so she, she, she's going to end the third act of a big showdown and still eat the apple. This movie is incoherent. Oh, the, yeah, that's, that's going to be a disaster. It's going to be a bad Disney couple. I'm just going to call it.

[00:33:30] It's just, it's just really incoherent because it's like, they clearly want to do a big third act showdown, but that completely contrary, like, okay, here's what I will say about the original having watched it recently. Snow White in that movie is annoying and insufferably perfect. Except, except she has terrible, terrible, uh, survival instincts. Oh, absolutely.

[00:33:53] The, the doc is like, Hey, so in the event, you remember how the queen is actively trying to kill you in the event that somebody shows up? Don't, don't take anything from them. I don't care how nice they are. Don't, don't take anything from them. It might be dangerous. And she's like, okay, lead dwarf. And then he leaves and then she eats a poisonous apple, like a moron. And the queen's disguise is, is that. Right.

[00:34:21] It's not, she's not, she's scary and immediately off putting it. And Snow White's like, yeah, I'll eat the apple. Yeah, totally. He's like, she should have just disguised herself as the prince. She has magic power. She can turn herself into the prince temporarily. That's what I'm saying. You can just show them and be like, Hey, hot stuff. You want an apple? Oh, I like it. But like, she, she has no, I mean, to be fair to that movie, it's from like 19, like whatever. It's really old and animation was expensive.

[00:34:49] So like, it doesn't have much of a time to like turn Snow White into a character, but she's just kind of not really a character in that movie. So that's why, like, to go back to Once Upon a Time, it kind of does the same thing that that movie appears to be doing. It's just, it still wants to do the apple thing, which was incoherent on that show as well, because this character is too smart to fall for that. Well, you see, it's a magic.

[00:35:19] You see, she was the woman from Lost. Oh, gosh, I'm still actually amazed that I ended up liking Once Upon a Time because the first episode has this moment that was so off putting for me. I almost turned it off. It's when the evil queen storms into the. What is it? The naming ceremony of the kid. Yeah. Yeah. She's walking, but the CGI background isn't keeping pace with her stride. Yeah. Yeah. Some of those. Some of those.

[00:35:49] I'm just, I'm, I'm like, Oh, why did you do this? I, yeah, that shows like glee where you had to take this. It has its moments where it made me mad. But the good, the good moments, the good moments do make up for it. I will give it. I, I, I like what they did better for Frozen 2 that would do than what Frozen 2 did for Frozen 2. A thousand times more interesting. That is, that is fair. Yeah. Frozen 2 was a, was a weird mixed bag. I, I maintain.

[00:36:20] Okay. To be fair. I wasn't exactly sober when I watched that movie, but the, the scene where the movie. You thought the nineties boy band number was an illusion or a hallucination. No, no, no. The one that made me laugh was when the, the movie comes to a grinding halt. So the characters can play charades. It's like the movie just full bore stops in its tracks.

[00:36:45] So, so, so Olaf can reenact the, the events of the first movie for the people who didn't watch the first movie for some reason and who are watching the second one. Yes. Because you are very, because you are very likely to watch a film entitled Frozen 2 without having seen the previous film entitled Frozen. And of course, Disney beat that bit into the ground by doing it a billion times on Disney plus. But anyway, I digress. That movie made me laugh. Yeah. Lost in the Woods.

[00:37:13] I maintain is one of the funniest things I've ever seen like that. That scene is so funny. My only issue with it. It's, it's a funny bit. Like it's a great joke, but. It causes a tonal shift in the movie that just completely took me out of the narrative. Oh yeah. I, I, I, to be fair. I think I've watched it once since, but yeah, when I went, I was, I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. And I couldn't understand what people do did more. People didn't think that movie was hilarious.

[00:37:43] Cause I thought it wasn't, but I don't think it was intentionally funny. I think it's maybe the bit. I think that's, I think that's the thing. I think that's the thing. Haley, what's your, what's your go-to Disney couple that you've got words. I need words. What's your favorite Disney couple that you think epitomizes a good relationship with open and honest communication? And genuine feelings for one another. Carl and, and Ellie. Oh, that's it. Doesn't count. Doesn't count. They went together for like 30 years though, weren't they?

[00:38:12] We don't see it though. We see it in a day. We see it in a day. Highlights of it. There's no dialogue. We see it in a very sad montage. You don't need dialogue. Oh no. I love the montage. The montage is better than the movie. I'm just, I'm just saying that. I'm just saying that like, demonstratively, they had a very successful and healthy relationship. So successful. He was willing to fly a house. Okay. I'm, I'm going to, I'm going to really piss people off with this one.

[00:38:35] But consider for a moment, consider for just a moment that perhaps Carl is remembering that relationship through rose colored glasses. I, I, okay. Back it up. Well, because we don't see it. And the number, the number one, the number one cause for not just divorce, but marital problems are money fights.

[00:39:00] And it's implied that they go through nothing terrible, but they go through fiscal strife. And are you telling, you're telling me, you're telling me with a straight face that at no point in their relationship, Ellie didn't just come in and be like, you know what, Carl? It would be nice to, you know, be able to go on that adventure. But somebody decided their life's work was to make fucking balloon animals. I'm at least, I have a real job, Carl. I am a zoologist.

[00:39:30] I'm a zookeeper. I show kids cool shit. What do you do? You blow up rubber and form it into animal esque shapes. Are you telling me they never once had that argument? Okay. This is completely honest with you. It's been so long. I'm really grasping at straws here. I, I, I, it's been so long. Is that why he had balloons to lift up his house? Was he an animal balloon guy? Is that, is that a state that are you being, that was his job. That was, that was, that was legit. His job. Oh my God. That was his job at the zoo. Yeah.

[00:40:00] Is, is, is, oh, they both worked at the scene. My guys is so long for the scene up. This is embarrassing. I completely forgot that. Was she old when she died? I don't remember. Yeah. She died young. She was old. No, no, no, no. She was, she was old. So they were together for like what? 50 years. But that might've been for, that might've been, that might've been for religious reasons. We don't know. That's what I'm saying. I mean, that's true. That's true. Carl could be a devoted Catholic. Yeah.

[00:40:27] And then, you know, like Ellie's family just laid the seeds of guilt in her young. So. I mean, he did in the, the last thing they did before, uh, uh, I don't know if it was before he died, but, uh, she finally went on a date for like, after like 30 years, however many years. That was just, that was the plot of one of the more recent shorts. So, you know, it took him a while to get over it. So he remained faithful even after she died. He's saying solid relationship. Completely agree. I just want to let everyone know.

[00:40:56] I was really grasping at straws and actually I can defeat my own argument because when Carl reaches the end of the, of the adventure book, it's pretty clear that Ellie loved him. So, so much. Like he, I mean, he was, he was completely devastated. I mean, it was, it was all for entertainment purposes and there's still, I probably deserve it. I probably deserve the hate that I'm going to get in those, that comment section. You son of a bitch.

[00:41:20] Hey, you can't get any worse hate than the, uh, the, uh, uh, Oh my God. What's that name? The one, the escape is podcast who, who said that cars too was better than up. Oh no. That's why it's too. It's too. Isn't even better than cars. No, no. I think you're watching that for the podcast. I actually didn't hate it as much as they did the first time.

[00:41:47] My question to that was if, if that wasn't called cars too, and it was just called cars colon a mater adventure. Would people hate that movie as much as they do? Cause like the kids love mater. Like it's just, they just, they just love mater. So like, I get it. I get it. I, I didn't hate that movie. I just hated that. No cars. Oh, I haven't seen cars too. I've seen cars. Maybe I did see cars too. Maybe I saw them all. That's one where made is a spy.

[00:42:16] I've never seen the third one. Okay. I think I saw the third one. I had to have seen the first one. Maybe I fell asleep. Cause I either didn't see cars too, or was so bored that I fell asleep. I can't honestly remember which. My dad loves cars. Yeah. Cars one is a surprisingly good little movie and I resisted it for years and I watched it and I find that hilarious. Cause I have the, I mean, I have this odd fandom fascination with Owen Wilson. Oh, fair enough.

[00:42:45] If he stops getting roles, can somebody just hire him to make audio books? I, I, he's one of those guys where I had to think about like, I don't think I've ever disliked him in a thing. I can think of stuff he's been in that I didn't like, but I don't think I've ever specifically disliked him in a thing. Also he's in the saddest movie of all time. Marley and me. Marley and me. Yeah. It's the saddest movie of all time. And if that movie doesn't make you cry, you're a monster. It doesn't make Christine Ohm cry. Boom. It's true.

[00:43:15] It's true. I was gonna say, does he get it? Does he get the reference? I got the joke. Yeah. I got it. I was going to say she probably enjoyed it's lesser known sequel and the goat gets it too. That joke is just for Jake. He's honestly not a bad, not a, not a bad movie title. It's not awful. Horrible movie though. Oh, she's a horrible tribute. Tribute to that poor goat.

[00:43:43] Oh, she's a horrible person. A Tontosaurus Rex with a capital C. Oh, yeah, she's bad. Oh, I hate her so much. Anyway. I bet she has a terrible marriage. I'm just throwing it out there. Is she married? I don't know if she's married. Yes, she's married. Probably. I'm sure she is. I don't know. Anyway. Fuck her moving on. That's good. That car has got a couple in it. I believe doesn't it? Doesn't he have a love interest in that movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:44:11] I can't, I can't remember her name, but. My, my, my dad loved that movie because of Doc Hudson. I think he was a big fan of, I think it's Doc Hollywood. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. He's, he always maintained that that his character in cars was literally just his character from that movie. And he always thought that was funny. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. But yeah, I would just love, love Owen Wilson to just create all manner of audio books. Just imagine reading like a spy thorough and just being like, and then he opened the box and he said, wow. Wow.

[00:44:41] The money's all in there. Wow. Wow. And I'm just going to put it out there. Shanghai Noon is a cinematic masterpiece. I said what I said. John watched that movie for the podcast this week and he thoroughly enjoyed it. And I agree. It's so great. Shanghai night sucks, but Shanghai Noon is great. Yeah. Mostly because of Owen Wilson. I mean, he's again, never disliked him in anything.

[00:45:05] I mean, to be fair, the movie, the movie is just rush hour, but in the old West and with a white guy instead of Chris Tucker, but it's basically the same movie. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. But Hey, that see, I used to say there's no such thing as a bad Jack and Chan movie. And then I watched the medallion this week. Jack movie. Speaking of love, though, did you watch the I think it's called the foreigner? Uh, for no, I've heard it really good, though. It's so good. So don't fuck.

[00:45:35] Don't fuck with Jackie Chan. That's all I'm saying. Especially when he's old and grizzled. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He just gives zero fucks in that movie. And he is no one say under well, I watched the drunken master. Oh, if neither of you seen drunken master, you should absolutely you like Jackie Chan movies should absolutely watch drunken master because that movie is phenomenal. And watch me. I'm going to magically tie this back into Disney.

[00:46:00] Did you know that Jackie Chan not only provided the voice for Chang in the movie in China, but also saying the. The song. Yes. Yeah, the song. The song. I'll make a man. Yeah, I always forget the title. He actually saying it in both Cantonese and Mandarin. He did. Yeah. Jackie Chan is just that good.

[00:46:24] I know that because the DVD because I'm old, the DVD had the music video of him singing on it, which if you've never seen the music video of him singing it, it's great. It's yeah, it's pretty solid. It's pretty solid. Yeah, that I almost tried to learn Mandarin just from watching that music video because I quit like I thought it was funny that he's that he say, like, yeah. Jackie Chan was always in those goofy action movies. I had no idea he could sing.

[00:46:54] He's apparently got quite an illustrious like singing career in China. Mm hmm. Hey, Haley and I might have to learn Mandarin if this whole tick tock thing doesn't pan out. It's gonna pan out. I know. I just a joke. It's just a joke. I mean, you can become more a little bit more cultured than Mandarin or Cantonese more than one language. Speaking of that, you guys watch. Keep a lookout because there's a new episode about the tick tock band coming out soon.

[00:47:23] I just don't know when yet. Hey, bear. What is that? Well, how long do you guys have a total autocracy? So I'm just kidding. So I'm just kidding. So I'm just kidding. Well, I don't know. We're we'll see. Learn how to pronounce the word oligarchy. No, I'm kidding. I can, but don't ask me to spell it. I just pictured Elmo on Sesame Street being kids.

[00:47:52] Can you say oligarchy? To be fair, that won't happen because they'll just cut the funding for PBS before that happens. I mean, Mitt Romney tried that and he lost the presidency. That's all I'm saying. I'm not saying it's connected. Yeah, but he. Okay. I'm not saying they're connected. They're not connected because Mitt Romney lost the presidency because he is a nothing burger, not because he tried to take away PBS. Yes, that is true. That is true.

[00:48:17] He just got up there and he was just like, he's about as threatening as Joe Biden and half the volume. So he just gets up and he's like, that is true. Hey, why are we paying for PBS? Yes. And everybody said, fuck you. Anyway, Disney. Haley, did you say your favorite couple? Yeah. We hijacked your show again. Did I? Yeah, you said Elliot and Carl from off. Oh, right. Yeah.

[00:48:45] And then I tried to create. I tried to create controversy. And I, I think they're a great couple. I think they were cute. They were a great. They were. They're great. I'm going to be that guy. I'm going to be that guy. A side conversation for a minute. My sister's at the show and they're so close. What show? Lion King. Oh, she went to. Yeah. She just went tonight. How about, how about a shout out for Simba and Nala?

[00:49:15] Yeah. That was my number two. My favorite Justin, you'll appreciate this. It's my favorite thing about the Lion King actually only has to do with a still friend from the movie and a Jordan Peterson lecture. He actually does. So actually, if you haven't seen it, Jordan Peterson does some fascinating deep dives of Disney films. And one of them is Pinocchio. Oh, it makes you. Oh, it makes you rethink that whole movie in a good way.

[00:49:40] But I love how he brings up the shot of Nala when she's when she's looking at Simba with the fuck me eyes. Yes. Everybody knows what I'm talking about. And he's in a college classroom and this frame from the film is on his projector screen. And all he says, he's like, and she gives him this look. Right. And we all know what that look means. I have to do that clip. That's funny. I mean, it's yeah.

[00:50:09] Yeah, I mean, no solid couple, solid couple. But again, Simba starts out being kind of a dick. But I mean, most relationships start out that way to a certain extent. I mean, he's got his whole song called Look at Me. I'm awesome. So that's not what it's called. Oh, I had a different name. I just want to be the one. I just can't wait to be king. I just can't wait. I'm the shit. You should love me. That's what it's called. Right.

[00:50:37] My shit don't stink, peasants. Or I'm the baby. I'm the baby. Gotta love me. Hey, you don't say an unkind word about that song. I kind of do a shameless plug though, because that show was amazing. Like the animals actually go into the aisles. Oh, wow. I totally thought you were talking about dinosaurs. I'm like, that show was amazing for different reasons. But I've never seen it. I've never seen it. Not dinosaurs. The Lion King.

[00:51:06] I've always wanted to watch that. The Lion King was awesome. Like the animals go down the aisles and onto the stage. Yeah, I hear it's amazing. I hear it's incredible. Having only seen clips of the Beauty and the Beast once we can't see it. I watched a bootleg of the Aladdin one, but the Lion King one is the only one I like. I thought the Aladdin one was horrendous. I thought it was genuinely very bad. Really? I saw I saw I saw both Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast on Broadway.

[00:51:32] And fun fact, the musical number of Beauty and the Beast that I hate just I hate it so much is be our guest. But on stage, it's awesome. I I found that the Aladdin was it was really pantomime for me. Or I did. Kind of. It's just the movie. Yeah, but like, and like it gave me real community theater vibes and just for a Broadway production.

[00:51:57] I'm like, if I paid like $100 to see this, I'd be like this theme park, the theme park show they do is better. The only thing I like. Okay, thanks for ruining Aladdin on Broadway for me. I will say, I will say, I will say, I liked how they took there's a song that was on the soundtrack. That was a demo called High Adventure that I really like that they do on the Broadway version that I really like in the Broadway version. And also I like I like the genie. I like what they did with the genie. Yeah, the genie was speaking.

[00:52:27] But speaking of shameless plugs, tell us specifically the fellas out there. Listen, Valentine's Day is coming up. You don't have your gift yet. At least if you're heterosexual, you don't have your gift yet. You need to get your gift. All you gay fellas, you probably had this locked down. Not the 27th. Of course, they don't have it. You're probably. Anyway. Fortunately, part of your Broadway world and RT Media have a solution for you.

[00:52:56] Our friends at Stevie Wicks. Listen, nobody dislikes getting a candle, especially one that smells amazing. Right, Haley? Every time. Every time you get your Stevie Wicks box, you're real excited. Exactly. Yes. I got it kind of for my birthday once. I loved it. It's sitting by my front door right now, in fact. But did you fall in love with it? No, I cannot say that I did. Just say yes and we'll move on. Yes, yes, I absolutely did.

[00:53:24] Even though you don't know who it was from, it gave you Stockholm Syndrome. Absolutely. And now you're like, I must find the person who gave me this candle and I'll do it by matching their shoe to them. Anyway, Stevie Wicks.com use promo code Broadway and you save 10% so you can even be a cheap fuck about it. Get your significant other a Valentine's Day candle that they will never forget.

[00:53:47] And they have other candles too, including some wicked inspired candles, which are now available on the site because I just gave myself a deadline at the time of this recording. So by the time you're seeing this, we're doing time travel. See, we're doing time travel. So by the time you see the candles will be on the website, even though as of right now when we're recording this, they're not. But I've just given myself a deadline. So future Jake is going to be mad at past Jake.

[00:54:11] But your future self won't be mad at the past you because you're going to log on after you watch this podcast to Stevie Wicks.com use promo code Broadway, save 10% and get your Valentine's Day candle, including which this is my recommendation personally, if you're in a couple is the little piece of my heart set. It's inexpensive and it's really sweet and sentimental. And for those of you that are single and cynical on Valentine's Day, like Haley, you can get a gift for your single and cynical friend, the three-week Galentine's candle.

[00:54:39] Same sentiment, no romantic feelings required. Thank you for calling me out. Well, I mean, I'm also cynical and bitter, so it's okay. Well, I don't think you want to receive a Galentine candle, but maybe you do. Maybe you do. A guy in time? A guy in time? Bromance candle. Get him a bromance candle. Bromance candle. I like that better.

[00:55:09] Bromance candle. Yeah. Pure bromance. Hit him with the bromance candle. Don't actually hit them with it. Metaphorically hit them with it. You gotta be careful with those bromances. They're prone to get physical. In a different way. I'm gonna stop talking now. Stop, just stop while your head plays. Stop. Cringy ad spots are my specialty.

[00:55:41] Yeah, we don't worry about it. We did one on the final frontier that was supposed to be 30 seconds and it ended up being like two and a half minutes of us just gushing over Paramount Plus. Hey! Paramount Plus is great. You can't even watch Star Trek on it. That had time travel jokes too. It did. Highly successful. They used to have, they used to have, um, uh, Rise of the Ping Lays and then they canceled the show so. Is that on Paramount? I thought that was on Hulu.

[00:56:12] Uh, nope it was on Paramount Plus. It was on Paramount Plus and then they canceled it. Well, I will write a sternly worded letter and send it to them, I mean and not send it to them because I don't want them to cancel our affiliate promotion. I will write it and I will stare at it sternly. Like, if only I sent you this. Oh, if I could have sent this letter. Oh, you would have been so angry. I will, I will, you know what, I'll write a physical letter and not put the correct amount of postage on it.

[00:56:40] And then it'll come back and be like, oh darn, well. Oh, I would have, I sure would have given them what for. Oh, if they had only received this, if I'd only put the correct amount of postage on this. So yeah, Ariel and Eric. Ariel. So as you were doing that promo spot though, real quick on Beauty and the Beast, she never bothers to learn his name. I realized that mid-add spot. Well, to be fair, she probably does that because when he reverts back to a human, his name is obvious.

[00:57:09] Also like, you know, she's like, like slightly, so point this out to me, how when she turns into a human, she kind of looks disappointed. Like she was really, I totally understand that. I totally understand that because I don't know if this is a new thing or it's existed in time in memoriam. Sorry, every, every, every heterosexual woman that I've ever met that has come up in conversation. They dig beards. I like it. They dig in a guy who's a little scrappy.

[00:57:39] But when he turns back into a human, he doesn't have one. I know that's why she's disappointed. He knows, well, you know how when they do that flash forward, he now has a beard. You notice that? I did not. What? What flash forward? Wow, you had me. You had me hook, line and sinker. I was like- I hate you so much. I hate you so much. I hate you so much. Oh, wow. That, you got me. That virtual high five on that one. That was good. Shoot. It was like, what do you know?

[00:58:09] When they do the flash forward, he totally has a beard. Because I can imagine that conversation. She was like, so, listen. I'm going to be you to stop shaving, man. So, listen, Jesus, I, I love you, but can we grow a beard? He's like, how many enchantresses do you know? Like, on, in your black book? Like, could we reverse things? Oh, no, he's French. He's French. He can grow a beard. I have full faith in him.

[00:58:39] That is true. That is true. He's a full-throated French man. Always forget that part. Wait, does Gaston not have a beard on purpose? Because I kind of feel like that would help him. And he lied. He lied technically because in his song he says, every last inch of him is covered with hair. But I see his chin. Oh, that is a decidedly, decidedly clean chin. But also, like, maybe he, maybe he, LeFou shaves him. There's no way LeFou doesn't shave him. Oh, LeFou, no.

[00:59:08] LeFou wants to shave him. LeFou does more than that. He wants to do more than that. That's the Josh Gad version. The Josh Gad version does. Oh, I don't know. The animated version's not that far off. Yeah, the animated version, it applies a lot. It really does. It's funny. I actually, I made a whole case on the Average Intelligence podcast when it was kind of in vogue to criticize Disney for LGBT inclusion.

[00:59:34] And I said, listen, normally I'm in your camp because I think Disney doesn't do enough. Like, if you're going to do it, don't half-ass it. Like, don't put a split. I agree. Don't put a split. Here's the thing. Not doing it is an option. But don't do like a quick pan where there just happens to be a gay couple in the background that like kiss each other on the cheek. Like, that's not enough. If you're going to do it, do it.

[00:59:57] However, I actually make the case that LeFou's character legitimately being gay actually informs the character and makes the character better. Because now his behavior around two and four Gaston makes way more sense if he's in love with them. I said the same thing. I said, no, but that was the one case where I went, yeah, that makes sense. Well, like, LeFou can't be straight. Because, like, I'm sorry.

[01:00:23] Like, listen, I love my friends, but I'm not following you around that much. Like, if you're just my friend. Like, if you're just my bro. Also, in the live action version, he's paying people off to say nice things. Do you know how expensive that is? I'm not paying people off. Yeah, no, that's pure in love and not even healthy love. But that's pure, like, unrequited love behavior. And LeFou should really see a therapist about that. He's got some issues to work out. So, I always kind of figured at the end, in the remake, his style would be like, you know what? All right.

[01:00:53] I mean, he's always around. Like, you definitely got my back. Right? I mean, he, he polishes a good boot, you know? Shaves a good chin. Shaves a good chin. He strikes me as a, he strikes me as a lad that knows his way around the kitchen. Right? He could do worse. Right? I understand. It's played by Josh Gad, so you know he can sing. But, my favorite part about that remake is when he kicks over the, when they kick over Emma Watts' thing. It's like, a woman reading? No!

[01:01:25] That was bad. That was a very bad movie. So, what about, what about, what about Gaston and LeFou as a couple? I support you. I don't have them on my list, so. I'm, I'm shoehorning them in. Holy sock and all. Obviously unrequited. I think, I think, I think, I think, I'm, I think it's a good thing. But, if Gaston, you know, did some work and sorted through some feelings, maybe they could come to a, maybe they could come to a mutual understanding.

[01:01:53] He, he's just a, Gaston is just a little too, like, I'm not saying he's in the closet, but I'm saying he's like touching against the door. It's what I'm saying. He's like rapping it, you know? I mean, he does it. I'm not saying he's overcompensating. I'm not qualified to make that statement. But if they said, like, if it came out that Gaston was actually gay this whole time, I'd be like, eh. Yeah, that tracks. I think, I think he wants, he wants Belle more as an idea than he wants as a natural relationship. Oh sure, sure.

[01:02:20] That's, that's, I mean, that's obvious because he never inquires, appreciates or mentions any of the things that make her, her as an individual, other than her, other than her appearance. Yeah, she, she cares, he cares about stuff about her, not about her personally. I think the line is, and in town there's only she who's as beautiful as me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:02:44] So, yeah, that's not, that's a good relationship that does not make, it can be a start, a very, very brief and immediate start, but eventually, eventually he's going to have to appreciate that she invented the washing machine, according to the live action version. So, okay, here, here, okay. Eric and Ariel. Here's my question about Eric and Ariel, because this is it, I have a real life anecdote about this.

[01:03:09] So, I used to work with a woman who, she was a ESL, she was an Indian woman, didn't speak very good English, but she was married to a white fellow, Canadian. And, and I was, I was like, how do you maintain a relationship with a person you can't talk to? Bam! There we go, related. How, how, how do you begin a relationship with someone who you can't have a conversation with? That's like, that's like, that's like part of it for me. Yeah, I mean, well, okay.

[01:03:36] So, going back to Eric and Ariel, I mean, to, to be fair, we're assuming that sign language doesn't exist, right? But, we know Ariel can write. We know for a fact we see her do it. True. So, it's not just write shit. Huh. Can she write in English though? Is that, again, been a while? I mean, she at least uses, he at least uses the same alphabet and Eric's a prince.

[01:04:04] So like, let's say, let's just for shits and giggles, let's say that she writes in a different language, right? Yeah. She has access to smart people. I could eventually, or she can draw pictures. True. I feel like, I feel like the remake did one of those like answered that question where it's like she can't, she can't see or, okay.

[01:04:26] I feel like there was, or maybe it was once upon a time, but I feel like there was like one of the, one of the adaptations of this story that, that like, like answer that question of why doesn't she just write? Because you're right, because you're right. Now that you've said that, why doesn't she just write? I can't tell you. Because the real reason is if she writes, then the plot doesn't happen. Because then all she has to do is, hey Eric, I'm the one that saved your life. And I really, really, really like you.

[01:04:53] And in order to, which actually, you know what, maybe she didn't do that because if she explained the situation, he would have thought she was either on drugs or being really clingy. We're going to need to French on Friday. But you got to mean it. So put your tongue into it. Right? Just really put that tongue into it. Nothing. Have you ever seen, have you ever seen the college humor sketch where it's, it's a kiss the girl, but it's like, I think it's like kiss the girl continued.

[01:05:24] It's very funny. She's very, girl in a rowboat. No, I can actually speak to that somewhat because while, like, and I've had relationship bilingual relationships before and while it's not a company that's like I, it's not that I understand none of the language, but there is a language barrier that thankfully today we have. Translators on our phone. So when you're really screwed, you can use it.

[01:05:51] But like, that's the thing that people, plenty of people have had to overcome, you know, language barriers and whatnot. So that is, that's a thing. And love can transcend language. It absolutely can. I've seen it. Like what it can't transcend is an evil, evil sea witch. Actually, it can. You just got to impale her with a ship. That is true. Just ever right. Don't even get me started on that because I'm still mad that that that they kind of changed that in the live action. I'm mad too.

[01:06:21] And the reason being is because by the end of that movie, they actually have a really solid relationship and they're both willing to sacrifice for it. For each other, because here's very few people talk about how many bravery points Eric should get at the end of the animated movie, because that dude jumps in a boat against a giant octopus woman. And it's just like, fuck it. I'm going to stab her with a wooden boat. Well, no, if this is going to work. And if it doesn't work, I'm going to die because I apparently can't. So no, he can't swim.

[01:06:50] He rescued the dog. But like, I'm in the middle of the ocean. I will drown and probably die if this gamble doesn't work. And I'm doing it to save the woman that I love. He's my favorite Disney prince because he's Spider-Man. So that's a for those of you who don't know. Wow. It's Eric is placed by is played by Christopher Daniel Barnes, who also plays Spider-Man. So he's Spider-Man.

[01:07:20] That is a solid. I explained some of his acrobatics. He's also, he's also, I believe, was on the Brady Bunch as well. Yes. One of my favorite memes actually, I saw it on Facebook, because the Little Mermaid does get a lot of grief as a movie. But my favorite is, it was like a screenshot. It was like, I don't understand how Ariel falls in love with him immediately, blah, blah, blah, blah. And there's a comment below that's like, he jumped in the ocean to save his dog. Shut the fuck up.

[01:07:51] Here's a couple. I'm like, you know what? You know what? Valid, valid. Here's a movie I talked about on the show that I didn't realize was part of the Disney Renaissance, but totally has a couple in it. And that's the rescuers down under the rescuers, Bernard and Bianca. Very solid couple. Yeah, they get they get engaged at the end of that second movie, which I always thought was straight to DVD.

[01:08:18] My whole childhood, I thought rescuers down under was straight to DVD. I had no idea. It's part of the Disney Renaissance. It's the second movie in the Disney Renaissance. Had no clue. Learn that for the show. Yes, it is. Yes. Learning show like that. Here's a fun fact for you, too. I saw the rescuers down under years before I saw the rescuers. Yes. I didn't know the rescue. I didn't know the rescuers existed. No, that's how I read. Yeah. And I'm over here like, why do Bernard and Bianca look different?

[01:08:48] Yeah. Having no idea that it's from the 70s. It's the same voice cast, though. Like, yeah, it is. The voice cast came back. Yeah. Bob knew. And it's right before he did. Like the last thing. I believe it's the last thing she did before she died. If you're right. Yes. Yes, they didn't. But I mean, you're saying Jake's a solid character in that movie. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Well, she's the main as far as the that that universe is concerned, I believe. Okay. Wait. Have you seen the first one?

[01:09:18] Yes. Is there is there an explanation in that first one as to why humans can understand the animals talking or is that just part of that universe? I think it's just part of the universe. Because that was a thing in the second one where like the kids talking to the animals and I'm like, is that just a thing that can happen in this universe? Or I'm like, is this just an unexplained thing? I was confused and I couldn't be bothered to Google it. My head canon was always I don't know if there's any basis for this or if I'm like remembering something.

[01:09:48] My head canon for that was always that children can understand them because children are innocent and don't automatically block it out because they think it's preposterous that animals could speak to them. That makes sense. I mean, they're based on a series of books. So maybe in the books, there's an explanation given to it. Maybe. But yeah, I forgot about Bernard Bianca. Solid couple. Solid couple. They're communicating. They work together. Well, and not only that, they they're a good couple and they work together. Well, because they technically are co-workers.

[01:10:15] Bianca is not a gold digger or a classist in any way, shape or form. Yeah, she respects Bernard when nobody else does. Also, she's like she I believe she's got an accent of some sort because they yeah, I don't I can't remember what it is. What I think she's Hungarian Hungarian. So, okay, that's not really I guess that's not really interracial, I suppose. But it certainly is. I mean, it's debatably intercultural though. Certainly intercultural intercultural intercultural and working together. Yeah, she did. She took over.

[01:10:45] She took one look at him and those overalls just getting his hands dirty. And she was like, you know what? I'm done. I'm done for it. I'm done for it. Oh, I think classic Disney couples. Okay. Okay. Plumbing by. Oh, I got Max and Roxanne from a good from a goofy movie. They don't they don't last though. I mean terrible couple. Terrible couple. I mean, I would say that though they last okay, they don't last him going to college because they've broken up. Well, before he's gone to college. We don't even have a date.

[01:11:14] We don't even see them have a date. We do because eventually they do go on a date. We see them when Max is like older and he's a bit of an older teenager on the house of mouse. There's an episode going on one day. One day. It's not a couple make. Well, well, but I mean it's implied that they're that they are kind of a thing, but you know between the first and second movie. Maybe they've definitely broken up. That is an argument. Maybe maybe they just went to different schools. That's also possible. I mean that your high school. You know, they high school relationships don't last.

[01:11:44] Well, they graduated college and then they saw each other at the reunion and we're like, oh, you know how you been like, well, you know, graduated college and wasn't a relationship, but now I'm not. How about you? Oh, yeah, you know, went to college. Wasn't a relationship realized they were both single and they're like, you know what, we never. We never really saw where this could go. How's about it? Of course, Max mentioned that.

[01:12:11] He mentioned the half brothers and sisters he had because Goofy crushes it in that second movie. That's a solid couple. That though. Yeah. Oh my God. I completely forgot about. I'm talking to Goofy. Yeah, that the extremely goofy movie is the movie where you wind up, you find out that Goofy is the most functional Disney adult. Oh, well, for that, I mean, it's demonstrably true just because he raised a son as a single father. And he didn't end up in the electric chair.

[01:12:40] He didn't wind up in the electric chair. Goofy realizes that that that he doesn't have the applicable skills he needs to proceed in the career. So he quits his job, goes to school, gets straight A's, develops a relationship. Seriously, like his relationship drama is never a point of contention or drama in that movie ever. It is a solid relationship from beginning to end. And he doesn't have to lie about who he is and how much he likes Mambo. She likes him for who he is. Yeah. See, that's the thing.

[01:13:09] Your your flavor will be somebody's favorite flavor. Right. Out there. And I'm just saying as far as like goofy dog people are concerned. You know, I'm just saying I'm just saying she's not bad looking is what I'm saying. She's not bad. Hey, every dog has his day. Right. Goofy's Goofy's just took a minute. No big deal. That movie was that movie to me is like I joke, but it's very funny how he like they there's never a moment where you

[01:13:37] think they're going to break up like his relationship with that woman in that movie is never a part of the drama of that movie. It's an entirely movie based upon his relationship to Max. And that's just kind of incredible to me. Like, you know, he does his taxes on time. Like, you know, you know, he does. Well, one year I was tempted to take an extra deduction, but I just didn't feel right, Max.

[01:14:01] Also, me it's me and Jordan's head canon that he he he slept with Goofy slept with Pete's wife when they were in high school. Oh, past that. There was a pistol pistol's his kid. Oh, you think pistol's his kid? Oh, I think pistol's his kid.

[01:14:19] Because because in that, okay, for audience members who don't remember Goof Troop, if you've never seen the even if you don't watch the rest of it, watch the pilot, because the pilot very much hints that Goofy and because Goofy and Pete's wife were we're not. No, this is this is the conspiracy. We enjoyed a bit. Goofy and Pete's wife. They were on the cheerleading squad together. And as a guy, you only join the cheerleading squad for one reason, for one reason. We all know the reason. And you love to dance. Okay, we get it.

[01:14:48] Right, right. To dance with the cheerleaders. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it's our conspiracy that him and him and him and Peg, they got together in high school. They absolutely did. And past high school. And well, well, she's the one who convinces Goofy to because the whole. The whole bit of that show is that Goofy lives next door to Pete and she's the one who convinces him to move in next door. That's saying. I'm just saying that's you won't talk about a bad Disney couple. Pistol and Pete.

[01:15:16] You mean Peg, Peg, Peg and Pete, Peg and Pete. I don't know. She keeps them in line. But also fun fact. Did you know that all that Peg Peg and Pistol are both named after previous versions of Pete Pistol and Peg Pistol Pete and Peg. Do you know that Mickey? No, but that's delightful. I love it. I know a lot of obscure Disney trivia. It's my one thing. So are you do you ascribe speaking of Goofy? Do you ascribe.

[01:15:43] Was it Goofy or Mickey that was at one point in a relationship with a cow? That's that's that's Goofy. That's Clarebell. That's what I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Clarebell, you're right. I don't know why is it Mirabelle. That's a different Disney movie. That's a different. That's that's different. So. Are we to understand that Max is half dog, half cow? Yes. I mean, I don't think they I don't think it's ever been a not as a face was like say a Daisy Daisy and a Donald.

[01:16:12] Or was that just Goofy's experimental phase? It's never been. He just wanted to piss off his dad. Which is weird. It's never been addressed. No, it's never. She's never really because she didn't really stick quite the same way. But also, to be fair, Goofy is Goofy. He's not a dog. Although, have you guys watched them? Have you guys seen the new DuckTales show? I've seen it. Not a lot of it, but I've seen that.

[01:16:38] That has my favorite version of Daisy and Donald of all time. Like that shows phenomenal. I cannot recommend it enough as a lover of DuckTales. Generally, it's a phenomenal show. But there's a really good scene where he first runs into her. And when he speaks, she hears like the velvety sounds of like a beautiful ballad. It's like the most beautiful thing about it. It's so good. That's what I'm saying. You are someone's favorite flavor.

[01:17:07] Yeah, it's so good. You may never be able to explain it. Just shut up and take the win. It's the only version of them that I understand. Because otherwise, she's just this shrill. Like she just yells at him. I don't get why Donald likes her. But that's like the one time where like, yeah, I believe them as a couple. It's really, it's really quite beautiful. Also, we haven't mentioned Mickey and Minnie. We're talking Disney. How have we not mentioned Mickey and Minnie? That's a political relationship if ever there has been one. That's a given. That's the thing though. It's not.

[01:17:37] Here's a fun Disney fact, which you yelled at me for, for correcting your friend for. But yeah, you can, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I will start this off by saying, well, how dare you do that to my friend? In my defense, in my defense, they were wrong. He knows. He knows this. In my defense, they were wrong. That Mickey and Minnie are actually. No, they weren't. Mickey and Minnie are. Well, okay. They're only wrong if you consider Walt Disney wrong.

[01:18:05] Um, because canonically speaking. Well, make funnily enough. Mickey, Mickey and Minnie are according to Walt Disney married. According to according to, um, Walt Disney, when they're at home in their private lives and they're not making movies, Mickey and Minnie got quietly married in an off screen ceremony. So as far as Walt Disney is concerned, Mickey and Minnie Mouse are technically canonically married. They're not always married in the roles that they play.

[01:18:35] No, but off camera when they're like, yeah, yeah. He's like when they're on, when they're on screen, they're not married, but when they're off screen, they're technically married. That is according to Walt Disney. Well, cause Walt Disney never said anything stupid ever. I mean, true. I guess on your, on your, if you want to get into the sticky wicket of ownership of authorship who owns characters at what point? Well, he learned his lesson.

[01:19:06] Yeah. Yeah. He did. By, by taking it to court and making it so that their characters can never escape into the public domain. That's ruining copyright law for everybody. I'm just like blinking angrily. Just like just blinking. Not even saying anything. Hey, that, that, that, that factoid comes from a, from an article, an interview that Walt Disney did with a magazine in 1933. It's the only reason why I know that.

[01:19:34] To be fair, they might not share that like Disney world when you're working for the mouse. Maybe he didn't know. I'm digging myself a deeper hole. Yes. Yes, you are. Shut up. Just shut up. What was shut up? Well, wow. Wow. You still can. Did you know that Steve Martin used to work at Disneyland? The magic shop? That's a fun fact. I'll stop now. What other couples?

[01:19:58] Oh, I mean, if you want to go more recent, Peter, Peter, they're not, not a couple, not a couple. No, no, it's like, it's platonic, but. No, no, it's Peter Pan and his young and Wendy's young granddaughter. Yeah. Moira. Moira. That was a reference to Peter Pan and Wendy. No, that's the granddaughter's name is Moira. I mean, not Peter Pan and Wendy. Hook. That was a reference to Hook. Yeah.

[01:20:28] What? I actually haven't, Jordan watched that movie for the show. I didn't watch it. Oh, Hook's solid. Peter Pan too, though. The, the second cartoon. What was her name? Jane. Yeah. That is remarkable that that movie went to theaters. Jane. I believe her name is Jane. That movie went to theaters. I watched that movie in theaters. That one and the jungle book too went to theaters. I watched those movies in theaters. Incredible. Those would be straight to streaming. No, I've never seen Tarzan too. I've never seen that one.

[01:20:58] Uh, that one is very specifically, um, uh, you remember that era where they would take pilots or like the first three episodes of an animated series and then sell it to you on DVD? That's what that was. That was them trying to sell that Tarzan show that I think ran for like one season. You know what's so weird too is if you were back, remember back of, uh, Return to Neverland. It's like the first, it's like first out of like World War II or something like that.

[01:21:27] Like where like they're like, they're trying to get back home with all the bombs going off. Yeah. I do recall. Yeah. Something about that. Yeah. Yeah. I seem to recall. There's a bit where like they've got nanny nannies wearing the, uh, the, I don't know what they're called, but the, the, the, you know, the hats you wear helmets or whatever. I remember that. Yeah. I've been so long since I've seen it. I think that that has a song in it. I like, I think, from what I remember.

[01:21:56] And I think also this is the one, sorry kids, but, uh, Tinkerbell dies in this one. What? Really? Yeah. Not enough people clapped. Tinkerbell dies. Tinkerbell dies. Like straight up or like, or like she comes back or like straight up dies? She straight up dies, but then like she ends up being alive, but like she dies for like 10 straight minutes.

[01:22:23] Oh, that's not, they had made a whole movie about that. They were dead longer than 10 minutes in flat liners. Right? Uh, 11 minutes. I think they got up to how many 11 minutes. I think. Yeah, I think so. Or maybe it was 12. Yeah. So Tink doesn't even hold the record. So bad. And also I've made fun of that movie. This is just the brains dying. I thought it was a hearts dying. Well, they stopped their hearts, right? You're smarter than me.

[01:22:53] Uh, you're both smarter than me. Is it the brain, the last thing to die when you die? I think it technically depends. Yes. I think you're right. Actually. I believe you're, I believe you're correct. I believe it's your brain, right? That's the last thing to die. I believe so. Oh, your organs shut down first. I don't want to say that with any real confidence or authority in case I'm wrong. I think generally speaking, unless I don't know, I can't, I'm not qualified to make that much like I'm not qualified. Yeah.

[01:23:21] Much like I'm not qualified to rate the, you know, validity of couples and Disney movies either, but we're doing it anyway. Yeah. Absolutely not. No, I'm not a fair couples therapist. Hmm. I know couples therapist. The, the, the list I got from, from Google put, um, Snow White, Snow White in the seven door, like, like Snow White in the print as number one. I'm like, that's no, no, that doesn't even get a five. It gets like a zero.

[01:23:51] But, but, but my argument to that, or my question to that, I guess maybe would be which version of them are we talking? Because like, if we're talking like the classic one, yeah, man, he, he, would they sing one song together? Does that qualify as a conversation or getting to know each other before he's making out with her in the woods? Well, no, like they, like, they don't get much screen time to screen time together.

[01:24:17] They get the, the, the song where they meet and then they, they get the, him waking her up and then, and then them going off to his castle. That's all, that's all the screen time. Yeah. I was going to say, yeah, they sing the, the I'm, I'm wishing, right? The I'm wishing song. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's pretty much it. Not only that. That's usually why these, most things give them a tad more depth than that. Not only that, but can I just say something real quick?

[01:24:46] Like the fact that the doors defeat the witch and not him. Come on. Is that, wait, is that a thing in the new one? No, it's this thing in the original. Oh, oh yeah. Well, I believe that, I believe that the evil queen gets defeated by herself. I believe. Doesn't she? Yeah. But, but, but, but, but, but, but like they chase her and then she tries to like push

[01:25:14] the rock and ends up accidentally like pushing herself off the cliff. I. I mean, to be entirely fair, I think I already said this, but to be entirely fair to that, to that additional movie. It. It. I want to say 1939 is when that original one came out, but I feel like that's not right. But that much animation, they didn't have a ton of time to work with. So any narrative issues I could possibly have towards that movie don't feel entirely fair.

[01:25:43] It doesn't feel fair to point out plot holes in that one because it's like he only had so much time to work with. Same thing with Dumbo or Alice in Wonderland where I'm like, I don't feel fair. It feels like picking on, punching down, I guess. But I love Dumbo. Dumbo is really short. It's short, but I love Dumbo. It's my favorite movie. It's been so long since I watched it. And the last thing I watched Dumbo related

[01:26:12] was a live action one. And that movie was aggressively boring and bland. I don't even want to say it was bad. The one funny joke in that movie is having Michael Buffer say, let's get ready to Dumbo. Although I'm biased though. What? Let's get ready to Dumbo. That made me laugh. Yeah, I know. I know. It's the one joke in that movie that's funny. But, I mean. Because you know who Michael Buffer is. I mean, I am biased though too

[01:26:41] because Mulan is my favorite, my other favorite movie. But I'm biased because Mulan came out the year that I was born. Really? Yeah. Okay, hold on. Don't tell me. 98? 99. 98. 98. 98. Yeah, that movie always feels like, I love Mulan because that movie looks newer than it is. That's true. For years, I thought Mulan came out in 2000.

[01:27:10] I had no idea it came out in 98. And I saw it came out in 90. I was like, really? I always thought that was a 2000s movie. Wow. Yep. It came out June of 1998. And I was born October of 1998. Really? Mm-hmm. Huh. Huh. Man, I'm so bad with dates. That just tells you I'm bad with dates. That just tells you I'm bad with dates. Yeah, I love Mulan. Mulan is one of my favorites. Mulan's a solid, solid movie.

[01:27:37] So, technically, Mulan and I are the same age. It could give or take a couple months. Oh, the movie. Yeah, I was going to say. Definitely not the character because Mulan is from ancient China. She is quite a bit older than you. But the movie. Also dead, but. But the movie and I are the same age. It could give or take a couple months. It was a good year. 1998. Solid year.

[01:28:03] The thing I discovered about Chinese figures this week is that a lot of them, like Mulan, were real people. The element of their story was obviously exaggerated, exaggerated, but like Mulan was a real person. Like, I'm sure at some point a woman picked up a sword and was like, have at thee, Huns. Apparently she. I can't. I don't want to. I'm going to butcher the story. But it was like she did the disguise herself as a man thing.

[01:28:32] But at least according to the ballad. Yeah. The ballad of Fa Mulan. But her. Her. Apparently the ending is significantly. Much like many Disney adaptations. Original ending. Not so happy. Yeah. But in the original story, in the original story, she came back home and her dad committed suicide. Wasn't it also part of like she. Well, no, I know maybe that was. That wasn't. I would actually happen. I think it was. Maybe I saw it a video. It would have likely happened. She. She had her feet bound. Which is. I think. Yeah.

[01:29:02] Incredibly unpleasant thing that can happen to you in China. Oh, no, it was done. Like a lot. Yeah. Oh, is it not just in China? I just. I understood. It was done a lot in China. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a. Bad, painful thing. Can we also talk about the fact that. In the cartoon. Like. She. Perfectly cuts her hair with a sword. Yeah. Well, you see. They cut away when you're. When she's trying to even out the ends. You know. Yeah. Right.

[01:29:33] Shit. I didn't want bangs. Fine. Mulan. Mushu. Just the string of Disney trying to be like. We need a genie. Got a famous comedian in here to do a genie. Hey. It's a solid runner up. I will say though. I will say though. Aladdin. They did so good in that. Desert Island. Island scene. Where like. Where he opened the book. And then. He gets pitched by Sebastian the Crab.

[01:30:03] And like all those like. Classic. Disney nods. Like. Come on. I mean. It's just a solid movie generally. Aladdin. Aladdin might be my favorite Disney movie ever made. Might be. Oh. Yeah. It's up there. It's. That's another movie that looks way. It. Doesn't look as old as it is. It looks way. Than it actually is. I will say the Little Mermaid in my opinion. Is kind of just starting to look dated. And that's.

[01:30:32] And it's a style thing. It's a style thing. Not a quality thing. No. It's just because it looks like. The animated movies from the 1980s. Just looked like that. Like. It's hard to describe. Like. Like. I never used to compare. To me. The original Little Mermaid. Looks like a Don Bluth movie. Like. Like that era of animated movie. Like that. The style. But also. To be fair. I think Don Bluth worked on Little Mermaid. I think. That was right. Before. No. He left. No.

[01:31:02] He left during the Fox and the Hounds production. He didn't. Was it during the Fox and the Hounds? Oh. Okay. Yep. Because. Yeah. Yeah. I think. I thought that was. Because that sort of looks like his style. That movie in my opinion. It looks like his style. That reminds me. I don't think that. Not. Neither of them have a couple. The Fox or the Hound? No. No. They do. Todd and Dixie. Oh. True. They do. Oh. Yes. Okay. Now I remember.

[01:31:32] Because I couldn't remember. Because I thought. I thought so. That's a. That's another really sad movie. Yeah. But then. If you read the original book. Way sadder. That's true. I always cry. At the scene. When like. She like. Takes Todd into the woods. And then leaves. Not to mention. That's a very. That's a very unethical thing to do. Yeah. If you've. If you've raised. Yeah. If you've raised an animal. From the time it was a baby. It will die. It's a matter of time.

[01:32:01] Probably quickly. What's. That movie. How. When he initially gets dumped into the. Into the woods. That is. Pretty much what would happen. That. That's fairly. Fairly. I mean. It's anthropomorphized to a degree. But. His like. Other like. No knowledge of how to handle the woods. Is. Pretty much what would happen. It would result in his death though. Because there wouldn't be a kindly. Kindly animal. Anthropomorphized owl black woman. To tell him what's what. No. That owl would eat him. Yes.

[01:32:31] In short order. Especially one that size. It would have zero issues. So it's not as morbid. Because it's a different movie. So instead. We're gonna sing. We're gonna sing about it. I love that movie. That was one of my favorites as a kid. That's another one that it looks. Newer. Disney always looks newer than it is. Like that's from like the 1960s. I think. 1970s. 70s. Yeah. But that's because they invent the animation techniques. That everybody then rips off. That everyone. Apes. Yeah. That's true.

[01:33:01] That would be why. Yeah. Imagine. Imagine a realistic. Imagine a realistic Disney musical version of the fox and the hound. The owl just kind of swoops in and is like. I'm gonna pick you up. And eat your entrails. Gonna cough them off later. I don't know why that was the tune of Inspector Gadget. It's an owl pellet joke. It's an owl pellet. That's how they eat it. Because that's what they do. Because they can't digest bones. So they. You know. Like a cat. You know. Right. But like a big.

[01:33:29] Big enough owl could eat a decent sized box. Oh absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. There's no question. What about. Disney. Disney couples that are a bit more normal. Mr. And Mrs. Incredible. Good couple. Bob has some issues. Cute couple. I love. I love. How the movie kind of. Reflects on like real. Family. Dynamic. Dynamic. I mean. Yeah. That movie is. That movie is all a metaphor for a guy cheating on his wife. But. Yeah. It's.

[01:33:59] It's. It works. And yeah. It. They feel like a very real couple. That I appreciate it. I appreciate movies where it's not. It doesn't. It's not like. Like. Like my thing with modern Disney. And we've talked about Frozen. But yeah. The. The. The heavy handed. Wink and a nod. Oh you wouldn't marry a guy you met in the first day. Shit gets old. What about. Terran and. Alan Lee. From the Black Cauldron.

[01:34:28] I've never seen the Black Cauldron. You've never seen the Black Cauldron. Never seen the Black Cauldron. I don't know that they're really all that good of a couple. God now you're making. Might have to watch the Black Cauldron. Jordan watched it for the show I think. I've never seen it. I've only seen it once. I don't remember them being a particularly. Memorable couple. It was that movie that constantly would. Come out of the Disney vault. Because it nearly killed Disney. So they look for every opportunity.

[01:34:58] To make money off of it. And they're still trying to get paid on that one. They still are. Oof. I think they. I think I saw. Read an article somewhere. It said like. They like. Went. They went like right to. DVD. Because it like scared children. In the theaters or something. Something like that. It didn't go right. It didn't go right. Well because it was released. It was prior to the Disney Renaissance. But. Yeah. That's. That's the. That's the movie that just about killed Disney. Because it comes so horribly.

[01:35:27] But it inadvertently led to the. To the Disney Renaissance. Yeah. Because they experimented. And a lot of those animation techniques. That they used in the Renaissance. Were. First seen. In the Black Cauldron. Yeah. Oh yeah. So. Not. No. No shot ripoffs. Or anything like that. But yeah. There's many. Many things. Like yeah. I can. It's. It's weird. Because it is. It's. It's a Disney movie. Doesn't feel like one. Like the Horned King is terrifying. It's. It's terrifying. It's pretty dark. I watched it as an adult. And I'm like.

[01:35:57] I could see this scaring children. Like legitimately. But also like. I would argue that that's the point. Where Disney sort of stopped taking chances. Because they did. Big swing. Big miss. Not at all. They took a lot of chances. But. More controlled. I would say. Because like. They took. They took a chance. You know. Which I know Pixar did at first. So there was proving ground there. They took a chance converting to CG animation. Yeah. Yeah. True.

[01:36:25] And it didn't work for them at first. No. But didn't they just bought Pixar? Yeah. Yeah. I mean. Come on. We can do it now. Does anybody. Anybody remember Chicken Lil? Oh yeah. I will say though. I will say though. Kidda and Milo from Atlantis. That was slightly better. Slightly better. I like that. I do like that. That's a good one. I like. It's not a great Disney. It's a good movie. It's not a great Disney movie.

[01:36:55] But I enjoy it. And Michael J. Fox is portrayal. Yeah. I do. I like it. I do. There's many things. Particularly Michael J. Fox just hits a home run. That's another one that they tried to make a show out of. And they did like a straight to DVD movie that was like the combination of three episodes of a television show that never went to series. Yep. That's exactly. Didn't they make a second one? I can't remember if they made a second one. Yeah. That's what he's talking about. Milo's Return.

[01:37:20] That's actually the first three episodes of the animated series that they were going to make. But ended up not doing. Yep. Okay. Because I couldn't remember. It's apparently. I think Jordan watched it for something. He said it wasn't very good. He really likes that movie. Well, hey, fun fact. The Atlantean King sounds just like Mr. Spock because it's Leonard Nimoy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I always forget about that. I didn't even know that. It is.

[01:37:48] Because after Spock retired from Starfleet, he went back in time and founded the city of Atlantis based solely upon logic. But then they all died. This isn't technically Disney, but it kind of is now. Since Fox and Disney are together. I know where you're going. It is technically now. Anastasia and Dimitri. Oh, not where I thought you were going. I thought you were continuing on the list. I thought you were continuing. No. Fun. Okay. So I think I've said this before, but my. Okay.

[01:38:17] This is so fun. Anastasia is technically the only Disney princess that is a princess by marriage. Really? Because Disney bought 20th Century Fox. Oh, I thought you meant within the context of her movie. I was like, no, she was born a princess. No, no. But she was brought into the family as a princess. Yeah. So that's a fun fact for her. So she's technically a princess now because Fox. Technically, I don't think she's been given Disney princess status, which I don't think.

[01:38:47] So get ready for some royalty jokes. I don't think she ever could be a Disney princess because even though the parent company is owned by Disney now, she was not born a Disney princess. I mean, one could argue that her movie is technically a Disney knockoff. So she is by stature. She is a bastard princess. Okay.

[01:39:15] As a kid, though, I've always thought that that was a Disney movie. A lot of people did because, yeah, I mean, yeah, it was very much like, yeah. Yeah, we're going to make this look, sound and feel exactly like Disney, but gotcha. It's Fox. That was towards the end. And then, yeah, then he went to Fox and he attempted to make Titan AE. And then I think that was the last thing he ever made. Except for Dark of the Night.

[01:39:43] That song is terrifying. I love that song. I love it, but it's like very scary. Yeah, I, you know, I never even knew that until like a couple years ago. I met Jim Cummings at a convention and I have a very funny picture where he's puffing out his chest to where he said to me and Jordan was with me. We took the picture with him and he's like, everyone says I puff out my chest. I'm puffing out my chest.

[01:40:13] And so he's just in the picture, very obviously puffing out his chest. He's a podcast. He is very nice. He's such a sweetheart. He was very nice to us, yeah. Apparently he's waiting in the rings and ready to reprise Darkwing Duck. I mean, I would totally. Well, they were going to do a show, do a spinoff of that DuckTales and then it just never happened.

[01:40:39] There's a really good, speaking of Darkwing, there's a really good, totally recommend it, unrelated, but there's a really good Darkwing Duck comic. That's essentially a parody of The Dark Knight Returns. It's called The Dark Knight Returns. Yeah, it's really good. I love the fact that he did, that Dem Cummings reprised Winnie the Pooh and Tigger in the live action Christopher Robin. Yep. I love that. That movie's really good. I love that. I mean, Christopher Robin is great. That's a great movie.

[01:41:07] I heard so many people shit on that movie and I'm like, what movie did you watch? Because this is great. Who played Eeyore? Was that Vince Vaughn? No, that was Brad Garrett, I believe. Brad Garrett? I believe it's Brad Garrett, yeah. Oh, that's great. And then there's something about Ewan McGregor, not Ewan McGregor, not Ewan McGregor. There's something about Ewan McGregor saying the word woozle with 100% seriousness that I just love. He, man, he's a treasure. A woozle is... He's another one. I've never disliked him in anything.

[01:41:36] No, because Ewan McGregor's great. And I love how he, I just love how he like, his character, like Christopher Robin in that movie, he like tries to fight it so bad that he doesn't believe in this. It just does not work. See, if you need evidence, if you need evidence of Ewan McGregor being a fantastic actor, his ability to have that genuine reaction to a stuffed bear that isn't there in front of him. Woo? Yeah, poo? Woo? It's so good.

[01:42:06] My, my, I do, that movie does have the occasional narrative problem, but like, it's just so, it's just so earnest. It's hard, it's easy to ignore. Justin, it's a movie about a boy and his stuffed animals. Well, my thing, my, it's one of those movies though where, where it's, it's unclear as to whether or not you're supposed to, like, the, it's one of those movies where it starts to explain, it doesn't, it makes you question the reality. Yeah. Without explaining it.

[01:42:36] Um, you know, but, which would be fine, except for it draws attention to the, to the reality, which is like, don't do that. That's like, if you're gonna, if you're gonna, don't point out the questions in the reality. It would be so like. We just remember when Pooh makes the cabinet fall down. Yeah. He's just, he's just, what was it? Something that's like, I broke your ladder. It's not a ladder. Oh, that explains why it's not good for climbing.

[01:43:02] Like, well, yeah, like it's not, it's not clear as to whether or not Pooh and them are made up by Christopher Robin and they exist in his head. Oh no, it's, it's very clear that they're not. I think I, I, okay. As I was thinking the same thing in the theater when I was watching it, and I think what I kind of landed on was they want you to think initially that they are in Christopher Robin's imagination, but then it becomes clear as they interact with other people. That they are very much real.

[01:43:25] And that's part of the reason why Christopher Robin dismissed them is because he was probably just like, oh yeah, that was, that was a fun thing to imagine when I was a kid. Or like when, or, or that scene when, when they're on the train, he's just counting the trees. Cause he's like annoying the shit out of Christopher Robin. But you can't be annoyed at Pooh. There's just something about that voice and the fact that he never, ever means anything bad. And you're just like, yeah, Pooh, you know what? Count those trees.

[01:43:54] There's a really cute clip that I recommend people look up of Jim Cummings also has a podcast where he interviews people. I say voice actors, but he also interviewed Art the Clown for some reason. So I just, I'm just going to say people, but there's a really sweet clip of him talking about when he was doing Christopher Robin, he was apparently going through a really hard divorce. And he said how like Winnie the Pooh saves people and it like brings them together. And I'm like, yeah, he does. He's such a pure character.

[01:44:24] It's hard. How can you hate Pooh? Like, how can you hate Pooh? Well, for one thing, it smells bad. How could you hate Winnie the Pooh the bear? Or Tigger too? How could you hate those guys? I mean, Tigger is a little annoying. Yeah, except his full bone hero mode. And is it the Winnie the Pooh movie or the Piglet movie? It's one of those two. I think it's the Tigger movie. It is the Tigger movie. You're right. I'm sorry. It is the Tigger movie.

[01:44:54] It's just like, damn, I was not expecting this. Tigger movie is one of my favorites. I will say that. That movie will never leave my brain because it was one of the few times my dad ever took me to a movie and he fell asleep in it. And he snores. Rue is such a sweetheart in that movie. She, like, literally dressed everyone up as Tiggers to pretend to be his family. So he doesn't. I'm going to the Pooh. So good. It'll hit you. It'll hit you right there.

[01:45:24] Real good. Speaking of Rue, though, who the hell is Rue's father? I need to know this. Some deadbeat kangaroo that went back to Australia when Kanga told him that she was pregnant. And he's like, oh, fuck. Look out. Gotta go back to Australia. She's a kangaroo. Well, she lost her accent because she's lived in the 100-acre wood so long because, you know, she had the kid and she doesn't want to move.

[01:45:53] And she really, I mean, she probably could work extra jobs if she wanted to. But you know what? The schools are all right. Rue's got friends now. So who cares if he's got an American accent? Besides, his deadbeat dad has an Australian accent. So you know what? She's cool with it. Bad couple. He's got tickers of bad influence on her because all he wants to do is bounce around and all she wants to do is cobble it. Hey, you know what? Depending on where they are in the stage of their relationship, that may not be a bad thing. Maybe she's into it.

[01:46:23] Maybe she's tired of being tense all the time. You know, maybe she needs a guy that can bounce for hours on end. Maybe that makes their relationship work. Because they're clearly a couple. I got nothing. I got nothing. I was gonna. I was gonna. I was gonna. And then I was like, you know what? I should probably point out that Rue is a boy. I think she's talking about Kanga. Oh, I thought you're talking about Rue. I was like, Rue's a boy. I thought Rue was a girl.

[01:46:52] Rue is absolutely a boy. No, Rue is definitely a boy. Is he? Yeah. Yeah. But you're. I assumed you were talking about Kanga, Rue's mother. No, I was talking about Rue. I was talking about Rue. But. Oh, no. That would be very inappropriate for Rue to be in a relationship with Tigger. The age difference is just too great. Yeah. Too much. But like. Tigger's absolutely a horrible influence on Rue. You're right. Okay. Now I understand where you're going with that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. That's a terrible. That's a terrible idea.

[01:47:19] Kanga is like telling her son like, hey, don't like, you know, follow Tigger around and all that crap. And Rue's like, dude, I'm going to go inform my mother and follow Tigger around. Well, to be fair, it's pretty demonstrable that she doesn't have good taste in men. True. True. She's a single mother living in the middle of. Living in the middle of the woods. You know what? Maybe she should just let Rue take a chance.

[01:47:48] It can't be any worse than the situation she found herself in. Do you ever possibly consider that maybe Rue is looking for a father figure? Yes, but she, oh, Rue is looking for a father figure. Absolutely. See, this is very confusing. It's very confusing. It's very confusing. Considering their names make Kangaroo. Yeah, it's very confusing. Why does an owl get any tail? He's a smart guy. I mean, he's not though. He seems smart. That's true. You're actually right. He is actually.

[01:48:18] And Gopher just works all the time. Yeah. Everybody forgot about Gopher. Oh, I forgot about Gopher. He's stupid. Everybody forgot about Gopher shunning. I don't like him. He's annoying. Gopher, an entirely Disney creation. Disney creation. It is, yes. He is not in the original works. And just feeling very violent for a minute. So, sorry, kids. So, kids, turn away. Wait for a minute. I've never wanted to play Wack a Gopher so bad in my life with that stupid Gopher. Oh, I could disrespect Gopher?

[01:48:48] You're just hating on him because he's a hard worker. And he's wearing a helmet. So, go nuts. He's ready for you. Here's a question for you guys that has haunted me for years. Haunted me for years. No one's ever been able to give me an answer. You know what Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree? Yeah. Yes. Why didn't Pooh go through the door? Rabbit has a door. Why didn't Pooh go through Rabbit's front door? Like the hole? No, I mean, he literally has a door. Yeah.

[01:49:17] Pooh tries to go out the hole and he gets stuck. But, but, but Rabbit has a door with a door handle that he can walk through. Well, Pooh is a bear, a very little brain. Yeah, but why didn't Rabbit be like, hey, Pooh, you're not going to fit out the hole. You should go through my door instead. Rabbit didn't even want him in there. Yeah. By the way, I, I, I know now that Rabbit is a boy, but when I was a child, I, that question plagued me.

[01:49:45] It was very confusing as to whether Rabbit was male or female. I grew up on, I grew up on the New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, where he very much has a feminine voice in that show. Yep. So like, that's, I. But not, not only that, and like, and I don't mean this in a sexist way, but like the way Rabbit behaves is very much that of like an old spinster. Yeah. Yeah. So. Is Piglet a boy? Piglet is a boy. Piglet is a boy. Yeah. Piglet is a boy. Yeah.

[01:50:14] The only female character in Winnie the Pooh is Kenga. Yes, that is true. Winnie the Pooh is a sausage fest. Yeah. I have a little problem with that. No, I'm just kidding. I don't have a problem with that at all. Piglet is another, another case though. I think certain versions of, no, that's not true. It's usually played by male, but he's another one where you could be forgiven. And thinking that he's just such a mean character. You'd be forgiven for thinking that it's feminine.

[01:50:40] What about the Heflump in the Heflump movie? Okay. Okay. So I've never actually seen that movie. Right. But. I did a long time ago, but I don't remember. That character shows up. Neither of you have played Kingdom Hearts. I don't think. Right. Now you don't strike me. I have. You have. Okay. In Kingdom Hearts 3, that character shows up.

[01:51:05] And he has, as Jordan, he has this really abrasive, high-pitched Cockney British accent that is not the same accent as the movie. But for whatever reason, the voice actor who played it only played it in this one game. But he kind of talks like this. And Jordan does this really funny impression where he's like, I'm the worst character in the game. Because he just has this really abrasive voice. So it's the only reason, only thing I know that character from.

[01:51:35] So that character is the worst as far as I'm concerned. Okay. Then, getting back to couples then, how about Hercules and Megra? Ooh, do like, loving them. Loving them. Particularly by the end. Yeah. Because at first, like at first, Meg is a bit standoffish, but it's understandable. So I'm not holding that against her. I'm not holding it against her. Also, fun fact, I don't know if I've told you guys this, but I met Susan Egan in the place Meg. I met her.

[01:52:05] Nice. I met her like a year ago. And what's really funny is I discovered who she was not because I'd seen Hercules first, but I didn't know who she was because that was before I really knew voice actors. But I rediscovered her because I'm a fan of, do you guys know who Jeff Dunham is? Oh, yeah. You know the guitar guy? Yep. Brian Hainer. Brian Hainer. I was to a point a fan of his.

[01:52:33] I stopped being a fan of his because he became obnoxious. But I have his first album. Well, did you know his son is the lead guitarist for Avenged Seven? Yes, I know he likes to bring it up constantly. Yeah. Yes, I did know that. Yes. Sinister Gates. He's Papa Gates. But where was I going with that? Don't know. I don't know. I lost it. Sorry. I lost it. I was a fan of Jeff Dunham.

[01:53:04] Papa Gates. Brian Hainer. Woody and Bo Peep? Woody. Oh, Susan Egan. Not Susan Egan. No, Susan Egan. She was in one of his music videos. That's it. Huh. Yeah. Yeah. She also played Bell. Bell on Broadway. On Broadway, yeah. He has a music video called Somebody Saved Me From This Crazy Bitch, where she plays the crazy bitch. Oh, Susan. Why? And at the end of it, she's like, I'm Susan Egan and support Brian Hainer. I have him trapped in my guitar.

[01:53:35] In my guitar. In my trunk. In my car. Oh, Susan. And it's quite a funny music video. I actually do. I just kind of recommend it. Not a bad song, and it's a pretty funny music video. But then I was like, oh shit. It's the woman from Hercules. I know her from Hercules. Yeah. So I brought up Woody and Bo Peep, but now I realize technically, didn't start out as a Disney couple. Although it was distributed by Disney, right? Yeah. Oh, Pixar. Pixar. It was made by Pixar, but it was distributed by Disney. It was distributed by Disney.

[01:54:05] Yeah, it was. Yeah. So technically. Disney Pixar movie. Yeah. But they're technically not even really a couple until the fourth movie. Yeah. I'm sorry. No, no. They are, but we don't see it. But we don't see much of it. Don't they make out under the mistletoe at the end of the first one? It's implied. Yeah. It's implied, but we don't get to see the relationship. So you can't really base that much of it. And by the time we see them interact as a couple, Bo Peep's a totally different person. So I'm not saying that they're bad. I'm just saying you can't really, I don't think you can make that call. Yeah.

[01:54:34] I always thought that they were, but they hid their relationship from the other toys because they didn't want them going. Also, no, that's not true. Because the second one, in the second one, you do see them kind of at the end. There's the big shot of Jesse and Woody are a couple and Bo and, and not Jesse and Woody, Jesse and Buzz are a couple and Woody and Bo Peep are a couple. Oh, Jesse and Buzz. Can we just say how weird that is to me? That's a weird couple to me. Not, not at all.

[01:55:03] because if we learned anything from the movie, Cowboys and aliens is that it works. Cowboys in space can mix. This is true. Especially, especially if the spaceman speaks Spanish. Especially if he speaks Spanish. I thought that scene was hilarious. Oh, it's so funny. I died laughing. It's, that is very funny. It's very funny. Fun fact. The fun fact, um, I believe in the Spanish version,

[01:55:33] of tour story three, I believe buzz ends up speaking Castilian Spanish instead of regular Spanish in the Spanish version of that movie. That is funny. That's, that's, that's quite a joke. If, if that's a solid joke, if you're a language nerd and get it, that's, that's pretty good. That is funny. Solid joke. That's kind of like how in, uh, if you're a South park fan, if you watch the German version of the, that movie, apparently,

[01:56:03] the scene involving the German is English, I believe. Yeah. I, I, I cannot find it to, to corroborate that, but I've heard that. Oh gosh. That's a good joke. If it, if it is. And then a couple, like there's one, I really, I was saving, but I'm going to talk about now. Jack Sparrow, who has multiple people. He has multiple lovers. I, look man,

[01:56:33] I didn't like him and Elizabeth. I didn't like that. I didn't like that addition. That was weird. It was not weird. It felt like, it felt like she was dating her uncle. He can have Penelope Cruz, but not Keira Knightley. No, that was, that was, I didn't like it. It was so, no, it was weird. It was very, nah, it was, it was icky. I didn't, I didn't like it either. There was, it was Keira Knightley, and then Penelope Cruz. And then I thought there was like one more. There is another one. I can't, I'm blanking on it. You're right.

[01:57:02] I feel like there is one more. The fifth one, right? Yeah. No, Zoe Saldana. It's implied they had a relationship. Yeah. I mean, what is a, it sort of seemed like it was more like a night than a relationship, but I get, I get what you're saying. Oh no, she knows him well enough to, she knows him well enough. That's the one who, that's the girl that, slaps him twice. And he's like, no, God, I deserve that. Okay. That one I did deserve. And. Oh, right. And, and I mean, with Keira Knightley, can you really call that a relationship?

[01:57:32] I feel like she was just using him to get free, to get off the island. I think the third one hints that the, the third one, is it the third one? That, that was the word I'm looking for. Cultivates, creates, somewhere along the line, they introduce a love triangle between, between the three of them. Well, makes up. Yeah. Oh, comes completely out of left field that no one would ever believe. Totally forgot about that. Yeah, that was bad.

[01:58:02] I don't like it. It's not good. I like it. Yeah, that's kind of weird. But I, to be fair, I watched that second one in the theaters, and that second one's ending is bullshit. To be fair, I hate cliffhangers, so that's, I notoriously hate cliffhangers. Trying to think of other Disney movies, but Haley, you appear to have a list, so. Yeah. I will defer to you. Mike Wazowski and Celia, from the Monsters, Inc. No, hey, look, apart from,

[01:58:32] apart from him lying to her, but like, what was he going to tell her, what was he going to tell her the truth? Like, I get why he, why he didn't say anything. I think it, it, it seemed, yeah, I don't know. They seem like a decent couple. They are, they're a cute couple. They're a cute couple. Also, I haven't seen the show, so. Pookie Bear, like, she, she, she, she calls him Pookie Bear, or something like that, and he called her Schmoogly Boo, or something like that. Schnookums, I believe. Schnookums? Something like that. Also, that contains Roz,

[01:59:01] and Roz is phenomenal. Yeah. Does Roz have, I don't think Roz has anybody. No. Roz needs no one. Although, there's a show, and apparently, maybe she might have someone on the show. Apparently the show's good. Okay, then how about this? Wally and Eve. Classic couple. I just hate that movie. Da-da! Wally is not a good, Wally is not a good movie, guys. It's not. It is too. It is so cute. I like Wally.

[01:59:31] It's not a good movie. It's not a good movie. Defend, defend your position, sir. Why don't you feel like it's a good movie? Well, the vast majority of it's not even in English, so. Okay, it's a nice, quiet, introspective movie where characters don't speak. Well, and frankly, if I want to watch, if I want to watch fat people try to interact with each other, I just go to Walmart. I don't need to pay money to go to a theater. That was only for the joke. I don't, I don't actually need to like,

[02:00:01] just the joke. Just the joke, people. Don't cancel me. Just the joke. I mean, you can cancel me, but I don't care. But yeah, just the joke. I will say, I worked at the movie theater when that movie came out. And yeah, the kids were, the kids were a little bored in those first 30 minutes. I will concede that. And besides, let's just, let's just talk about the fact that even Wally are clearly not compatible, whether through hardware or software is not happening.

[02:00:30] Eve is clearly an Apple product. And if Wally's not an, he's older than IBM. Okay. They don't play together. I mean, I mean, when they touch, they, they, they do like shock each other. Clearly demonstrate. They're not meant to be together. There is no, there is no software patch or bridging hardware that could bring those two together. It's not the file systems just corrupt one another. Oh my God. Now you made me lose my.

[02:01:00] That's what would happen. They would lose all their memory if they actually tried to, it would be a nightmare for one of their hard drives. Probably Wally's. You made me lose my files. My God, you wouldn't lose my place. Just saying. Well, Esmeralda and Quasimodo. You're not a couple. They're not a couple. I mean, I mean, he got hard friends on. He got hardcore friends on. Esmeralda. Esmeralda and Phoebus are a couple. Yeah.

[02:01:29] He doesn't matter how. Phoebus and Esmeralda get together. It doesn't matter how good you are on the inside. Your, your hot friend will always come in and snake the girl out from under you. Okay. But Phoebus, Phoebus gets unjustifiable hate in that movie. This Phoebus is actually a standup guy. And the scene where he'd open, where he defies Rolo is a very good scene. But I'm just saying, I'm just saying Quasimodo built the foundation of that house, that foundation. And then he came and just built a house on top of it.

[02:01:59] That's all I'm saying. All I'm saying, this is not a metaphor for women, but all I'm saying is that I did not build the house that I currently live in, but I bought that sumbitch. Um, I can't remember who the woman in, the, the, the woman is in the second Hunchback of Notre Dame. He does eventually get a love interest. That movie is funny because they, they do this whole thing where it's like the, the bell has like jewels on the inside.

[02:02:27] So it's about what's on the inside that counts. What would make the bell not function properly though? I never said it was a good movie. It's a date straight to DVD. Isn't she blind? No. I believe she's also blind. Is she blind? I think, I thought she was blind. Oh, she's not blind. Okay. Well, she's blind. Good. Good. Good for her. She is blind. She is blind. So she's, she's legally blonde, not legally blind. Well, I haven't, I don't think I've seen that one to be honest with you. I did.

[02:02:57] I haven't seen the second one. I had to go. I have not seen the second one. I had to go. I've not, I've seen the first one. That's good that she's not blind. Cause I feel like that's the movie saying like, it's okay. If you're ugly, just find a blind girl. You'll never know. A blind girl who can't tell the difference. She'll love you for you on the inside because she won't have a choice. Do you think she could do better? No. And like, even if she could,

[02:03:26] she wouldn't know. In the, in the second one. Of course they do. Cause you know exactly what they did after all that winding down. Of course. Hey, this bell tower is kind of spacious. Lots of places to do activities up here. Lots of spaces to, read the Bible. They can read the Bible over there. Which one? The Disney one? Yes. The Foxes. Yeah. The Foxes.

[02:03:57] I actually like that movie. I love that movie. Oh, it's great. And actually I was about to say, eh, until I remembered the, the archery contest. That's true. And they have, they both have a legitimate. Did you know that you can buy her, her, uh, engagement ring? That, that, that flower. I'm not surprised. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not surprised. Somebody. I spent so long. Because I think, isn't it depending on the version of Robin hood, made Marion and Robin hood don't get together depending on the version. It depends on the version. Yeah.

[02:04:27] And the Ridley Scott version, uh, made Marion is actually married and apparently likes to fight. So Jordan maintains that was going to be a chef of naughty cam movie. And Russell Crowe is going to be the chef of naughty cam. And then I had, and Nick wild on my list, but I'm not going to even justify that. They're not a romantic couple. It depends on who you talk to. I hate it. What? It was good though. No, it's not. It is not a good movie. Utopia is a fantastic.

[02:04:57] Utopia is a fantastic. It is not. Yes, it is. It's a very elaborate metaphor on, on racism. It's about racism, Haley. Specifically confirmation, not confirmation bias. Um, what's the word I'm looking for? I can, I can see the argument for, I mean, I can see the argument for confirmation bias either way. That's not, that's not the, I mean, yeah, it, it applies, but it does apply. Unconscious, unconscious bias. See, Jordan, Jordan came up with a,

[02:05:28] but he, he came up with like the best idea for what they should do, uh, for, um, Zootopia too. And, uh, it was, um, corrupt cops, not corrupt cops, but, uh, racist cops, like having to deal with like racist cops in the system. Or just do Zootopia too. Oh shit. Humans. Yeah. There's a human now. Kill it. Um, kill it dead. Although my, my 100%,

[02:05:58] 10 out of 10 couple is Perdita and Pongo. The one, one, one-on-one Dalmatians. Solid. That's also, that's a solid couple. There's nothing bad about them. They have a large female already, and then they choose to adopt like. Right. Right. Solid couple. And like, and like, also, oh wait, Pongo and Perdita, is that the human couple or the, are they, are the dogs? That's the dogs. I mean, also the humans, the humans, they could, Pongo and Perdita is such a strong couple. They brought the humans together. They weren't a couple prior.

[02:06:29] So their, their strong love spread. Who are the humans today? Like, like a virus. I don't know. I don't even know. We don't care about, we don't care about the humans. Anita and. Roger. You're right. Roger. Roger and Anita. You're right. Oh, they do have names. Speaking of animals, what about Duchess and Thomas O'Malley? Yes. Yep. Solid relationship. And his line. His line. That's the aristocrat. The aristocrat. Oh, that's a different thing.

[02:06:58] The aristocrats. Sir, you will, you will name that movie properly. The aristocrats. And the, the, the, the line that he uses on her is like, it's like, like the, your eyes sparkle like sapphires. Like, come on. I think that movie, that's just, that's just an observation. That's not, I think that movie is probably not particularly witty. As,

[02:07:25] as fondly as it probably should be because of the unfortunate racism. Wait, what? The, what? I'm, the aristocrats, the, oh, hopefully this doesn't get me in trouble. ching chong chong ching ching choo chong. Oh, that, yeah. Fortune cookie always wrong. Yeah. Technically not racist. Um, he is a Siamese. He is a Siamese cat. Oh, yeah. Lady and Tramp. Lady and the Tramp. That's okay. Okay. Yeah.

[02:07:55] That's racist. Yeah. It's racist. If you please. Yeah. That's racist enough that they got rid of those characters in the remake. See? Oh, in the remake. Okay. I'm okay with the remake. Don't take them out of the original, but no, the remake's good. I will say I liked the remake. I enjoyed the remake. I thought the remake was all right. They're not. They're a decent couple. I got kind of upset that, that they got rid of those characters in the, in, in the live action,

[02:08:25] but upon reading why they did, now I understand it. Yeah. I can see it. Well, not, not least of which being that the nation of Siam doesn't technically, I mean, it exists, but it's under a different name. Yeah. It's not Thailand. Yeah. Oh, Thailand and Burma used to be one country called Siam. Oh, I didn't know that. And now they're not. So for example, in the King and I, you remember the King and I? Yes.

[02:08:54] The King is the King of Siam. Right. Yes. Yes. I am. I've never seen the King and I. Don't. No. I've heard it's not very good. It's. I've heard depending on it's on it's on its presentation, it could be racist. Did you think. Who's doing it. Huh. You don't say. I've heard that. I've heard the movie is kind of racist.

[02:09:22] There's a lot of bronzer used in the production of that film. That's all I'm going to say. We completely skipped over like the one of the greatest couples, in my opinion, Rapunzel and Flynn Rider. Oh, I was going to mention them earlier when we were in, when we were in frozen territory. Cause I was like, that's, that's that era of, we have to be self-aware. Can we just say how bad-ass Rapunzel is? I mean, she is barefoot. She's barefoot. She has long, she swings on her own hair.

[02:09:52] That's, that's another. If you're fake, I love, I love tangled, but the funniest, the funniest tangled thing. I mean, there's the same thing with frozen, but again, in kingdom hearts three, they literally just do the scene where she comes out of the tower for the first time and freaks out. But like, Sora, Donald and goofy are there. So you, they're just, they're just hanging out. It's literally, the funniest scene in kingdom hearts.

[02:10:18] The funniest bit in kingdom hearts three is they do the entirety of let it go. The entirety of that song shot for shot. Don't stop. But sore, Donald and goofy are in the background. And then she finishes singing it. And then, and then so I goes, huh? Anyway, and then just, like, like, huh? Well, that was strange. And that was, every, every time after that cut scene in,

[02:10:46] in the tangle you universe of, in, in kingdom hearts. So yeah, I always like try, try to follow Rapunzel to the next area, but she's like 10 feet ahead of me. And I'm like trying to get up with her. And she's like a mile ahead. I'm like, Jesus. She is very excited to get out of that tower. You don't know where you're going. Let me help you. They, they, they are, they are, I honestly, if you've never seen the show, I fully recommend the show. It is better than it has any right to be.

[02:11:16] What show? The tangled show. The tangled after. Didn't know there was a show. Yeah, there's legit. There's a, there's a, it's a really good. It goes full bore anime at a certain point. They're doing like energy beam blasts. Like, it's like after her hair, hair gets, gets short and brown. And, but then like her hair magically comes back. There's a whole mystery as to why. So wait, Rapunzel turns into a super saiyan. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. Yeah. There's a bit of these glowing rocks.

[02:11:47] Basically. Oh, we're going to, we're going to do this in the flat fast, but basically it turns out that the reason why she, her hair, she has glowing. The hair is magic is because of a sun God. And there's also an evil moon God. And her friend gets the powers of the moon God. And it makes her hair turn blue. And they do like a energy beam thing towards the end of the show where it goes full bore anime. And it's got the original voice cast. It's got, it's got Zachary Levi, Mandy Moore. It's, it's, it's again, the music is like genuinely,

[02:12:17] if you like the music in the original movie, almost better than the music from the original movie. Stand out better. And I believe Jeremy Jordan is in season two. Yes, he is. I think he's also in season one as well. He's varying. Yeah, he is very, he has like the best songs of the show. If you're a fan, Jeremy Jordan is like, me too. Yeah. Yeah. If you like tango, like legit, I'm sort of sounding coming across as facetious, but no, it's, it's genuinely really good.

[02:12:47] Neat. And yeah, you get to see them being a good couple because they're a good couple. Lovely. What else we got? Yeah. Who's next? Or is that the list? That's my list. Have we hit all the couples? Are we missing any, any, any Disney couples? Did we talk about Cinderella in Prince? No, but no, no, but he's an idiot. They're a basic bitch of a couple. I'll just put it out there. Not on that. Just bad.

[02:13:17] Like he clearly, okay. He's either an idiot or really needs glasses and it's just really self-conscious about it. I mean, again, that's another uncomfortable, like, consent thing. It's a consent thing. I mean, she wanted even, even, I mean, Oh, Hey, okay. what? Asleep. Yeah. I'm not going into a hospital, making out with coma patients being like, you'll love me. I'm just not, I'm just not. No. And then not only that, their,

[02:13:47] their meeting is very much. I mean, they're 16. So it makes sense. And they're just like, Oh, pretty girl. Oh, pretty boy. Let's just get married and do, do all the things right now. Let's not think about how this is going to work. This is like 15th century Europe. We don't think about the, we don't think about these things to be fair. They're, they're old by that point. From enchanted. Oh yeah.

[02:14:16] I forgot about them. I do enjoy that. Although, although, okay. I like the first one. The second one is not super great. It's not great. No, it's not great. It's yeah. Have you not seen it, Jake? Or have you, you're not seen the second one. It's not good. Never seen either one. Oh, the first one's pretty good. It's sort of, it predates like tangled and, and, and frozen in that, like it's Disney,

[02:14:45] but Disney is now self-aware. Yeah. Like she goes to burst out in this song. He's like, let's not do this here. Let's not, let's not. It's one of those kinds of movies. The music's good though. And Amy Adams is a, is a delight. To be fair. She's oh, and also James Morrison is in it. And he's also a delight. Yeah. Cool. Well, we've been doing this for a while. So you guys want to throw any more couples or we want to. Okay. Well. Yeah. I think I got, I tapped mine. I got mine. So.

[02:15:15] I can't think of anyone else. It's been. Very long and very. Interesting. Yeah. We stayed on topic the whole time. I am very proud of us. Tell us, tell us your favorite Disney couple in the comments. If we didn't address it, or even if we did address it. Yeah. And why is it Aladdin and Jasmine? Why is it? I'm still, I'm still holding out for Tasha and Chicha. And why isn't it?

[02:15:45] Oh, I didn't. Why, why isn't it Carl? Why is it Carl and Ella? Ellie. Ellie. It's Ellie. I said Ellie. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not gaslighting you. What's that smell? Is that gaslight? Well, it's either that or bullshit. Well, guys, I hope that you enjoyed this episode.

[02:16:14] Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. Happy Valentine's Day. This will be out a couple of days before Valentine's Day, but, but, but regardless, happy Valentine's Day. because I'm pretty sure some people are going to celebrate early. So, I mean, isn't it on Monday? We're going to do a Valentine's Day episode where I make Jordan watch both of the sex in the city movies. No, Valentine's Day is on Friday. Yeah. So, yeah, we're probably going to do it. Everybody be smart.

[02:16:43] Everybody be smart and celebrate on the 15th. right? Yeah. So, with that being said, I'm off and I will see you guys next time. And with that, you guys have a good day and we'll see you guys next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.